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Friday, June 7, 2013

Don't Mess with Norma Bates

A lot of bloggers have written about the creepy A and E series "BATES MOTEL". While some find it campy, most do not find it scary. I guess I am one of the few that really get so disturbed by what I watched that I have had to turn off the TV - kind of like a small child raises his hands to cover his eyes to avoid seeing scary things. (I did go back and watch the episodes On Demand.)

Since I am not a TV critic, I'll leave the critiquing to those who do it best. I do sell real estate, however, and the 9th episode of "BATES MOTEL" stirred up the Realtor inside of me. In an early episode Norma Bates and her son Norman drove up to the newly purchased motel for the first time. We learned that the highway was being diverted away from the motel. That could potentially make the new purchase worthless. But Norma and son proceeded to clean the place up anyway and make it ready for new guests.

Then in episode 9 the specter of financial doom raised its ugly head again. Norma realized that her investment was going to be worthless. She marched into her Realtor's office whereupon the following dialogue occurred:

Realtor:  How's the motel business going?

 Norma:   The motel business sucks, man!

Realtor:   Is there a problem?

Norma:    You never told me there was going to be a new by-pass road that takes all traffic away from my property and destroys my business.

Realtor:    At the time it wasn't official.

Norma:     It was being proposed.

Realtor:    A lot of things are proposed.

Norma:    Do you want to spend the next year squared off against me in court?

Realtor:    Ideally no.

Norma:   THEN GET ME MY MONEY BACK!  I want the motel and house on the market as of today. I want an open house this Sunday! Can you do that?

Realtor:    OK, yest I will re list it.

Norma:    I don't want a sign out front." (I have heard that before myself from sellers who want to keep the sale of the property a sweet secret that we Realtors only share with rich, cash buyers.)

Norma:    I still have to earn a living until it gets sold.

Realtor:    Of course.

Whereupon Norma swirled around, glared at another agent sitting nearby, and the swooped out the front door. 

Later in the episode Norma returned to the Realtors office on Saturday night to discuss the Sunday open house. The agent saw her approach the front door and yelled "Oh shit!". He ran back to his desk and grabbed his briefcase as if hoping he could escape her scorn. Norma zoomed through the office.

Norma:    Matt why didn't you call? I want to discuss the open house.  I could bake some cookies - give the place that fresh baked smell. (This would be advisable to disguise the odors of the homicides that occurred at the house over the past few episodes including the corpse of Norma's dead lover on her mattress with his eye shot out.)

Realtor:    There's not going to be an open house.

Norma:    Why not?

Realtor:    I looked into it.  There's no market for your property, not with the new by-pass road going in.  I can't get your money back.

Norma:    How much can you sell it for?  Is has a value.

Realtor:    You are underwater. The best thing you can do is let the bank take it back.

Norma:    Walk away from my investment?  I can't due that.  I will sue you!

Realtor:    You can do that but I am $30,000 in debt, live with my girlfriend, and my mom owns my car (as if sticking his hands to his ears, wiggling his fingers, and saying neener, neener, neener).

Whereupon Norma charged the Realtor and hit him over the head with her big handbag. He moved to the back of his desk and crouched on the floor. Norma beat him again and again - five strikes in total. What a wimp. She could have kicked him down the street.

The agent really messed up. We do not know from the dialogue what kind of agency may have existed. Even though this was a commercial sale, the agent should have disclosed the proposed relocation of the road. Norma was not without fault. She had time time to complete her due diligence to determine the suitability of a property for its intended us. And assuming the lender had an appraisal done before it loaned new money to purchase the motel, the appraiser should have discovered the "potential by-pass". 
As a TV viewer I felt  sorry for a buyer like Norma Bates who appeared to have been taken advantage of by real estate agent Matt. Matt's "I don't have a pot to piss in" attitude sucks, to use Norma's vernacular. I was rooting for her to beat the hell out of him. She stopped too soon.  Actually, Matt was very lucky. Most people who mess with Norma end up dead.

I'm not offering advise to any Realtor who reads this except this - don't mess with Norma Bates.


Anonymous said...

Can I get her transient licenses, please?

Gary Thomas said...

A reader sent me the email below rather than post the comment. Cute and thought more should see it. By the way, I pointed out that Norma came back.

Interesting BLOG, but you missed it in the end!
She came back to the office and hit him over the had with a large handbag. I see a lawsuit coming, pro-bono. He has not to pay anything until the lawyer collects damages ( Florida). Getting hit over the head will be huge. His luck has turned and the buyer has lots of assets, the problem he may now own the Bates Motel.


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Key West, Florida, United States
I first read about Key West in a magazine called "After Dark" sometime in the mid 1970's. But it wasn't until March 1984 that I made my first visit to the island that would become my home. I had two weeks for a vacation and reserved a room at Colours Guesthouse (now Marrero's Guest House) for one week. I thought that if I didn't like Key West, I could always go back to Miami or Ft. Lauderdale for the rest of my trip. But after a couple of days in Key West, that was no longer a consideration. But when I wanted to extend my stay for the extra week I found there was no room at the inn. The guesthouse owner did find me a room at LaTeDa, the infamous guesthouse/restaurant. That's a story I'll write another day. But those two weeks in Key West gave me the realization that I had found Paradise. Key West has been my home since 1993 and my only regret is that it took me so long to get here. I am a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties CRI. Let me help you find your new home or business in Paradise. Living in Paradise is not a slogan, it's a way of life.