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Sunday, April 13, 2014

The Importance of Finding Ernie


The Conch Telegraph reported that Bert and Ernie were recently seen on an airplane headed to Key West.  Various tourists captured photos of the famous pair and posted them to Instagram. Gossip travels fast in Key West. And if you are celebrities like Bert and Ernie, it travels even faster.
Bert was spotted sipping cocktails on the plane ride down to Key West. After the plane landed Bert sped over to the Bourbon Street Pub for happy hour.  He left Ernie at the airport waiting for their bags to arrive on a later flight.  Thank you very much American Airlines! 
Word got out that Bert was in town without Ernie. Newsmen and paparazzi appeared out of nowhere hoping to snap a shot Bert.
Day turned into night.  Bert wandered up and down and into and out of all the bars on Duval and the side streets looking for his little buddy.  At the end of the night he ended up at Captain Tony's playing pool for shots.   

Captain Tony's was a very bad choice.  Bert woke up the next morning and found himself mounting a Hemingway Cat that looks like Adolph Hitler reincarnated!  Once he sobered up Bert once again set out to find Ernie.


Bert went over to Simonton Street hoping Ernie might be at their favorite old deli only to find the place was closed and Ernie was nowhere to be found.

Bert then headed to seaport.  B.O.'s Fish Wagon was another favorite hangout. No Ernie there either. He wandered around Old Town for hours. Eventually he and made his way up to the Key West Cemetery.
Bert wandered over to the sweet little pink house over by the Key West Cemetery.  Bert and Ernie rented it for a month last year. Best vacation ever! But Ernie was nowhere to found. Bert then remembered their first trip to Key West when they stayed in a trailer up on Simonton Street.

When Bert arrived at the trailer court not only was Ernie not there, the trailer court was not there either. It was as if their life together had been erased. It seemed to Bert that he was living in the Twilight Zone or something.
 That night Bert went back over to the Bourbon Street Pub hoping against hope that Ernie would show up. He got wasted again.  When he walked out the front door door of the bar he heard someone say "Put on sock on it!" and ran for his life. 
The next morning Bert woke up with the worst hangover ever!  He headed over to Alcoholics Anonymous.  Whatever happened inside stayed inside.

Bert didn't fall off the end of the earth, Thank God!  But when Bert came out he renewed his quest to find Ernie with even more determination. He wandered the streets of Key West for several more hours.  It turned out that Ernie had been tracing Bert's movements. Everywhere he went he heard something like Bert was just here looking for you.  Forlorn, Ernie walked over to the the parking lot opposite the Leather Master on Appleroth Lane where he fell asleep. He awoke when Bert gave him a nudge. Together again!
Bert and Ernie made their way to Ft Zach Taylor Beach - their favorite place in the world - waiting for sunset.  Key West is the place they where they plan to spend their retirement - together.










1 comment:

Joseph Graham said...

Gary, I LOVED today's entry. Seems like I've seen it before, but it was very funny. It also made me happy, and so many of the good things in and about Key West are wrapped up in that little narrative. I hope you are well and having fun

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Gary Thomas in a Nutshell

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Key West, Florida, United States
I first read about Key West in a magazine called "After Dark" sometime in the mid 1970's. But it wasn't until March 1984 that I made my first visit to the island that would become my home. I had two weeks for a vacation and reserved a room at Colours Guesthouse (now Marrero's Guest House) for one week. I thought that if I didn't like Key West, I could always go back to Miami or Ft. Lauderdale for the rest of my trip. But after a couple of days in Key West, that was no longer a consideration. But when I wanted to extend my stay for the extra week I found there was no room at the inn. The guesthouse owner did find me a room at LaTeDa, the infamous guesthouse/restaurant. That's a story I'll write another day. But those two weeks in Key West gave me the realization that I had found Paradise. Key West has been my home since 1993 and my only regret is that it took me so long to get here. I am a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties CRI. Let me help you find your new home or business in Paradise. Living in Paradise is not a slogan, it's a way of life.