Key West Writer's Block

I've got writer's block. I shall return. Soon!

Fantasy Fest 2020 Has Been Officially Cancelled

The Key West Citizen Newspaper just posted a special news alert that the 2020 Fantasy Fest Celebration, the Zombie Bike Ride, and the Key West Literary Seminar have been cancelled.

This is a sad day for the citizens and businesses in Key West. So many people love to participate in these events. Some work for months on their costumes and floats. The events historically raised money for Aids Help but in reality the ten day event gave a gigantic boost to the Key West economy.

The County Commission and the City of Key West took a big risk three months ago when they aggressively shut down the City and Monroe County.  But it paid off. We have the lowest infection rates in the state based on our size and we have had only five fatalities.

Since Key West re-opened out-of-towners have been roaming the streets sans-masks. I get it. They are on vacation. What they don't understand is that they may be bringing their infections into our protected environment. Fantasy Fest brings thousands of people to our little island. The harm could be devastating.

I respect the decision.

Three Key West Love Stories

Long time readers know that I moved from Colorado to Key West more than a quarter century ago to own and operate a guest house then known as Eaton Lodge. The place had been boarded up for two years after being foreclosed by the US Small Business Administration.  We moved in a few days before Christmas and started to clean the place up. Locals stopped by and introduced themselves to us and welcomed us to Key West. They asked who we were and told us about themselves and the house - about Doctor Warren, the town doctor, and his wife, Genevieve (second from left below), who started the Key West garden club. That explained the gorgeous gardens and exotic palms other trees on the property. But most of all they welcomed Bob, my partner, and our dog, Gertie, to Key West. Within a couple of months we opened for business on Valentines Day 1994.

Since so much time has passed I do not feel I am betraying any former guest who stayed with us. These are three short tales of love at Eaton Lodge. For readers afar who have never been to Key West and are offended by tales of sex - go away - now!

We offered nice clean rooms at a reasonable price which included breakfast, happy hour, and turn down service at night. We explained this to all guests at check-in. We also introduced Gertie to guests so that they would not be frightened if they saw her laying on the front porch or under a tree or in the fish pond - which she did.

Not too long after we opened a couple from England arrived for a two week stay. They were a sweet couple in the forties or early fifties. They came to Key West each year had stayed at Eaton Lodge before it was foreclosed upon. They were happy to see it opened again. Within a few days I noticed they followed a routine. They would take a "nap" for a couple of hours each day. They were madly deeply in love. We cooked dinner or them one night and they took us to the Cafe Marquesa another.

Two couples from Ft Lauderdale flew into town on a Friday afternoon. The primary guest told me he was dentist in Ft Lauderdale and that he piloted the plane to Key West. I thought he was gay but he had a wife. Both couples looked like movie stars - they were just so attractive. I especially remember that I told them about nightly turn down service because of what happened later. We always one or two of the maids return at night to do turn down service (remove the bedspread , freshen the bathroom with new towels, and turn on a light. The first night of the dentists stay I helped turn down that room. I removed the bedspread and four square pillows when I discovered a large dildo placed between the pillows. I left it under the pillow and finished the room. I could not figure who the dildo was for. It wasn't my business. Still, I wondered. (That wasn't the only time I found one of those either.)

We set up a free bar each night at happy hour which ran from 5:00 to 7:00 PM.  Depending on the month of the year first time visitors might skip a free drink and walk to see sunset at Mallory Square. Others would take the opportunity to have a couple of drinks before heading out for a night on the town. I recall one night when we were still sitting outside in the dark after happy hour had ended. A couple staying in one of the carriage house rooms returned with a man. All three went inside in their room. After several minutes the husband came out and poured himself a drink and sat by himself. seemed preoccupied - even moping - over what was going on inside his room. The wife and the other man stayed inside that room for a very long time. We eventually went inside while he stayed outside. The couple checked-out the next day - a day earlier than their reservation. I don't know what happened and don't care. I did not have to call the police.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day wherever you are!

The Almost Stairway to Heaven

This is a true story. The above photo shows a cast iron staircase similar to the one discussed in today's blog but it is not the actual one.


Twenty-six years ago I owned a group of four historic Victorian buildings in the Capitol Hill area of Denver which included a massive two story carriage house. The prior owner attached a two story cast iron staircase to the front side of the carriage house. Our German Shepard Gertie would regularly sit on the second floor rear landing observing what was going on in the world outside of her yard. While the gate kept her inside the yard, she knew her job was to sit as sentry.

Every spring we would fill wood boxes with trailing flowers which would cascade over the rails. Each morning before going to work I would drag the garden hose up the stairs to water the flowers and the water the other bushes and flowers. Gertie would spend her day on the second floor and occasionally go the garden to patrol - that's what German Shepard's do.

A light was affixed atop the iron newel post at the bottom of the stairs. The rails, balusters and steps were either rescued or purloined from the Brown Palace Hotel when the hotel lobby was renovated. The prior owner of the my properties had been a bellman at the hotel during the renovation. Multiple sections were removed. It is hard to imagine they could have been stolen, but one never knows.

I noticed that Gertie would always jump from or to the second or third step each time she went up or came down the stairs. I thought is was some game she invented to amuse herself. I remember the one day I was heading up the stairs after watering the flowers while me feet were still wet. I think I hit the second step when I felt an electric shock and leaped up to the next step. I called my partner who came out and then we both tested the stairs. Yep - they were electrified.

I called an electrician who came over and fixed the problem. The lamp at the top of the newel post had developed a slight shock which then electrified the cast iron staircase. Had the current been higher both Gertie and me may have taken our last steps on the stairway to heaven.

My Worst Thanksgiving

For as long as I can remember, I would watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade on TV. Over the years I decided it would be a real treat to actually see the parade in person. In 1998 a friend of a friend offered actual Macy's grand stand seats to me and my ex.This was going to be fun.

We stayed at a hotel on Central Park South. It was raining on Thanksgiving morning. I remember wearing jeans and a rain slicker. We both had umbrellas. We took a cab to near the Dakota. The grand stands were somewhere in that area as I recall. We found our seats and sat in the drizzle for half an hour to forty-five minutes or so. The drizzle got worse and worse. My jeans and slicker were soaked.  We decided to forget the parade and go back to the hotel.

We changed clothes and went down to the dining room and had Bloody Mary's and eggs Benedict.  The rain eventually stopped and we walked around Times Square. That was a bleak and miserable experience. I remember seeing people eating their Thanksgiving in McDonald's.

That night we went to Tavern On the Green for dinner. I had made reservations weeks in advance. We arrived a bit early but had to wait and wait and wait. The restaurant was crammed with loud people. We talked about going some place else but feared we might end up a McDonald's if we did.

We eventually got to sit down and order dinner. It took forever to arrive. It was terrible. The service was terrible. The whole experience was terrible.

We discussed going back to New York for this Thanksgiving.We didn't and for that I am thankful. It is supposed to be the coldest ever Thanksgiving Day Parade.  It is 75 degrees as I write this. Today's high is supposed to be 80. I am thankful for that as well.

I could be up in New York with several million people this week freezing my behind. Instead, I'm stuck in Paradise.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Key West, My MeToo Moment in Real Estate

 Before you read, know this. I am a gay man and I am not a victim of anything. What I write really happened. It was a metoo moment when it occurred. Looking back more than twenty years later I consider what happened amusing, but it still should not have happened. 

I first read about Key West in a magazine in 1979 way before the internet. I didn't actually visit Key West until 1984 but instantly fell in love with this magic island.

I worked with the same Realtor for several years before I actually bought a place in Key West. I made absurd offers on several properties over the years all of which were rejected. One of my biggest regrets was failing to purchase the Sheridan Apartments located at the corner of Eaton and William Street. The main building at 802 Eaton Street was, and still is, one of the most beautiful buildings in Key West. It is a Grand Conch (or Revival Style home) with wrap-around porches on the first and second floors. Some of the porches were enclosed years ago to create more interior living space and a widow's walk was added to the top of the building. You can see the sea from there. The Key West seaport and the Gulf of Mexico are located two blocks north. A smaller Bahama style house was located next door on Eaton Street and a different two story house was located around the corner at 409 William. There was a very large rear yard behind 409 William Street where I could have added a pool.

A few years later I became a Realtor in Key West. One day in 1997 or 1998 Mr. Sheridan Crumlish, the owner of the Sheridan Apartments, invited me over to discuss listing the property for sale. He was a tall older (I believe) gay man. He must have been in his seventies. I was fifty at that time. He lived in the second floor apartment at 802 Eaton Street. I met him at the property and he showed each of the apartments. The place was as interesting then as I remembered from years earlier - a gem. His apartment took up the second floor at 802 Eaton. The windows and doors in his apartment were all opened allowing a slight breeze to cool the space naturally. I remember the white Dade County Pine walls, re-purposed furnishings, and art. The simplicity of it all was quite memorable. 

We sat in his living room to discuss the property. I told him about my half-hearted attempt to buy the property years earlier. He laughed a bit. And somewhere things got uncomfortable. He was wearing a caftan that looked something like the beige outfit above. Sheridan sat opposite me. His legs spread apart and I got to see what was a very private part of him. It was deliberate. It was not an accident. I had no desire to list the place and got out of there as soon as I could. Amusing now, not then.

Key West - One Year After Hurricane Irma

Key West has been my home since December 1993. I have stayed in Key West for each of the hurricanes since Hurricane Georges in 1998 which recurred while I was in Ft Lauderdale attending a real estate refresher course. I remember the drive back to Key West on US 1 - a trip that normally take four hours took ten. I decided never do that again.

In late August 2018 CNN and other media started to warn the public about Hurricane Irma as it formed in the Atlantic.  The enormous storm moved at a terribly slow pace as it headed towards Cuba and Florida. The storm was so wide that hurricane models were unable to predict the exact path it would take. As I recall CNN predicted a tidal surge of up to ten feet and warned of catastrophic disaster for Key West. Many locals who always stayed here decided to leave for Irma. I estimate that about 25 to 30 per cent of locals stayed in Key West - including me.

I drove around the island a couple times during the days preceding Irma's landfall. There was barely any traffic. Stores on Duval Street were boarded up. The hotels and guest houses were shut. Houses were shuttered. The high school parking lot was filled with cars in anticipation of flooding in low lying areas. The skies alternated between awesome blue with enormous cumulus clouds to gray and threatening as Irma headed our way. I hunkered down with a friend in Old Town. We lost power around 8:00 PM. I went to bed and woke up the next morning to mild but constant rain and wind which lasted for an eternity. I ventured outside a couple of times to test the conditions but decided to stay indoors because tree limbs were falling everywhere. Around 3:00 PM we went for a walk around Old Town and later drove to the Bayview Park and Casa Marina areas where I took photos of the damage. I thought it would be interesting for readers to compare the locations one year later.

One of the first sights I saw was a huge mahogany tree that fell across the 300 block of Simonton Street. That tree was one of many canopy trees we lost in the storm. In my opinion it was the loss of the trees was the biggest loss during this event.

The boarded up houses at 421 Simonton Street were being renovated when the hurricane occurred. They were not damaged. The renovation has just been completed.

The Curry Mansion lost a huge tree at its front entry. The building did not appear to have sustained any visible damage.

Another huge tree located at the corner of Caroline at Simonton Street had fallen. The former Banana's Foster property on the corner was not damaged.

I walked to the corner of Eaton and Elizabeth Streets where a new property at 700 Eaton was being built and the historic house at 704 Eaton was being renovated. Neither was damaged. The renovation was recently completed and the house at 704 Eaton was listed for sale. It went under contract in just seven days on the market.

A massive tree located on the side of the Eaton Street Fish Market fell across William Street. The uprooted tree hoisted a propane tank up about ten feet off the ground. I turned around and looked south on William Street where a huge mahogany blocked the 500 block. I walked east to Margaret Street.

When I neared got near the corner of Margaret and Southard Street I saw a banyan tree leaning against the Harris School. As I got closer I saw several more trees had fallen on the school grounds. The building was not damaged. I walked west on Southard Street to checkout two nearby houses I had sold. Both houses were fine, but the owner of one beautiful home lost his prized Date Palm.

The biggest shock of the afternoon occurred when I reached the corner of Southard and William Streets. I had always considered the 600 block of William Street to be one of the prettiest streets in Old Town. Irma changed that. Two giant banyan trees fell onto the late Shel Silverstein's house which was badly damaged. The house was razed several months later. This is the only house I am aware of that we lost. There was minor damage to three abutting properties. 

I walked south on William Street to the corner of Windsor Lane where I looked to my right and saw two huge trees had fallen at the Key West Writer's Compound.  The trees were located on either side of the former home of author John Hersey. The trees took down the fence and crushed a motorcycle parked on Windsor Lane. I sold this historic home several years ago. I walked around the property and determined it was not damaged. The fence was rebuilt. The owners now have sunny views.

The 1100 block of Fleming Street (between Frances and White Streets) was closed for more than a week because two enormous banyan trees in front of 1117 Fleming Street fell onto the street. One big limb damaged the porch of the adjacent house which is now being repaired.

Later I drove over to the 1400 block of Virginia Street to checkout a house across from Bayview Park. I had this house a couple of years ago and wanted to make sure it was okay. Two big trees snapped in half. The house did not have any visible sign of damage.  The city did not take the trees down.

I then went to the Casa Marina area where I saw another giant banyan tree located at 1100 Flagler Avenue had fallen. This is the former home of author Judy Blume. The current owners are now extending a brick fence to add more privacy to this home.

The house under construction in the 1000 block of Washington was not damaged and was recently completed and is now being lived in.

"X" marks the spot at the corner of Washington and Whalton Streets where one of the tallest and most majestic trees in Key West fell. It took the city more than three weeks to remove the tree. The tree was located on the public right of way. The city requires property owners to pay significant fees to obtain permission to remove trees during construction. These funds are supposed to be used pay for replacement trees. The city has not replaced anything at this location. Double loss!

CLICK HERE to view photos I took before and after Hurricane Irma.

Key West is back to as normal as Key West can be. We have a lot less trees than before, but we have as many houses less one. This is a great place to live. Come down and checkout Key West.