Key West Real Estate Throwback Thursday No. 11

from:  March 6, 2010

You're Gonna Howl with Laughter at this New Bank Owned Key West Property

 

From Dale McDonald Collection showing a funeral march through Old town

I have written before that in a prior life I did commercial loan workouts for a couple of big national banks in Denver. Part of my job responsibilities included the sale of bank owned properties. I got pretty good at doing my job. I tried to get the last nickle out of every deal, but I knew that when I had a problem property I had to sell it and get rid of it. I only "fell in love" with a couple of properties that I refused to sell at give-away prices. One such property was a big two story house on the golf course in East Vail. We had lots of offers from greedy buyers that thought they would steal the place. They lost. When I had a dog foreclosure, I got rid of it. Sometimes we had to fix the dog up and make it pretty enough to attract a new buyer. You must understand that all dogs are not ugly. Some look perfectly normal. But location and previous usage can make a once viable property a pretty difficult sale after a property has been foreclosed upon. One such property was a small house that had been converted into offices near City Park in East Denver. Nothing 0dd about the conversion except the neighboring property had become an abortion clinic which was being picketed all the time. Another time I took over a medical building in North Denver. That building had been used as a pill pushing clinic where the doc pushed diet pills and Valium. The building had creepy old medical devices and lots of pills stored in boxes in the basement. We could not sell the drugs and absolutely could not throw them out. I ultimately found another doctor to purchase the building and he took responsibility for disposing of the furniture, fixtures, equipment and drugs. Yet another time I took over a gun store filled with weapons and ammo. I have never fired a gun in my life and being in that place scarred me. I found a buyer with the proper license to take all of the inventory and we were out of the gun business in a hurry. All of this leads up to a new Key West listing of another key west real estate company. The property in question is located at 325 Julia Street in the Bahama Village area of Key West.

The listing Realtor says

"Presently licensed for use as Evergreen Mortuary and Conch Conquering Lion Construction. Second story has one bedroom residential unit."

I started to howl when I read that line. But then I looked at the pics of the listing including the viewing parlor, the embalming room, and that special room with the big table saw, I doubled over in laughter. CLICK HERE to checkout the mls listing info.

325 Julia Street back in the day. Now Bank Owned!

The Parlor at 325 Julia Street

The Embalming Room I guess

The room with the table saw! I hope we never see this place on America's Most Wanted

A few weeks ago I was showing property near the Key West Cemetery. We were in my car driving on Windsor Lane where I intended to go south to my next appointment. I had to hold-up a bit as there was a funeral procession (march) making its way slowly down Windsor Lane toward the cemetery. (Just like the one in the black and white photo taken in Key West in 1934,) When we managed to reach Galveston Lane I took a sharp right and made my getaway. We don't have that many funerals in Key West because Key West isn't all that big a town. I understand that there are few if any remaining unsold burial plots at the cemetery. I kinda fear being taken to anyplace else in Florida. You must have seen the horror stories about Florida cemeteries and bogus burials. It is comforting to know that people in Key West still have reverence for the recently departed. I mean that in all sincerity. But since there are not a lot of burials, it is nice to know one could use the none mortuary space for other uses such as construction. The 2460 sq ft mixed use building at 325 Julia Street is offered at $489,000 or $199 per sq ft (50.25' x 79.33'). A couple of other funeral homes have been sold in Key West in the past few years. This could be a fun project for someone in need of Hmdr (Historic medium density residential) permissible zoning space. I would be happy to show this property to serious buyers. I make light of the listing because of the incongruity of use between mortuary and construction office. But let's not waste someones time for a laugh. Please call me, Gary Thomas, 305-766-2642 to schedule a showing. I am a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties Coastal Realty, Inc.

Friday the 13th as a Predictor of Successful Real Estate Location

We all know how this story will end. You know the ending within a few minutes after the movie starts - you just do not know how it will occur. There is always a pretty girl or dog or maybe an idealistic home when something suddenly happens. 

This a true story of Key West real estate. But the story could play out anywhere because the primary dynamic of real estate sales are universal and unforgiving - location. But this story is also very particular  as to Key West. 

Even though Key West a lot of very fun things to do on Sunday afternoon, watching polo matches and bowling are not among the many.  Locals and tourists seeking cheap alternatives turn to Open Houses pretending to be buyers. Seasoned locals often opine on the value of the properties demonstrating their superior knowledge of the Key West real estate market. 

I like holding open houses which sometimes lead to a sale. But they also get other Realtors to see my listing which may lead to a showing.

I remember open house I hosted in Old Town a couple of years ago. U was there more than three hours. I arrived early and closed late. The house still had two or three late arriving older couples taking self-tours. I went to the street to retrieve my Open House signs. When I arrived back at the house one of the couples was just exising. I asked them if they had any questions. We went back inside and I showed some of the things they missted. And that is when the gent said they did not come to look at my lising, They came to interview me as one of the top Realtors in Key West. (I know there was gonna be a catch.) 

The gent told me they were completing the total renovation of their house on a X street. They asked if I would be interested in listing it. I told them I knew the house and that I did not want to waste my money on a photographer nor my time hosting opnen houses and showing the house whici I said would take a couple of years. I told them of anogther neraby house on X street that was on the market for nearly three years. They looked aghast. Then she or he said they got permission to change the street from X to Y. I quickly said when buyers arrive they will know it is located on X , Virtually nobody wants to buy a house on X street I wished them well.

One by one the pretty girl, the nerd. the jock, the camp couselor, the other pretty girl, the gay boy - all go outside., do foolish things, and get killed. They could all be alive today if they had only not done something foolish. The End.

The house still has not sold.

Chicken Condos

Many long time Readers know that I was an attorney in Colorado in the 1970s. Later I worked in the Special Assets Department of a very large bank headquartered in Denver. Subsequent to that job, I managed a similar department for another bank. It was my legal background that brought me to the banks which job involved the management and collection of problem commercial loans and sale of troubled assets.

The Special Assets Department where I worked in had four attorneys, two non-lawyers, and two secretaries. My boss was a senior vp who reported to two executive vps. The principal character in this story was a non-lawyer who I will call Harold. Harold haled from the Midwest. He fancied himself as being very smart. I think he thought himself to be smarter than the attorneys in the office-maybe even the smartest guy in the bank with 900 + employees.  He may have been. I am not sure. Maybe not.  But I know he thought he was smarter than most people because he had that "I am the smartest guy in the room" attitude. He always had a smart remark, a quick rebuke, or a knowing stare. He stood maybe 5'10" tall and always wore the bank uniform - a blue blazer and gray slacks. We didn't really have uniforms, but every lender on the commercial floor wore that same outfit at least once a week. Harold wore his nearly every day. He had awful breath. I can still smell it. He was a young guy, maybe thirty five years old when the incident occurred.  He had a college education from the big university in his home state. Harold was no rube. Like I said, Harold was smart. Very smart. 

The story takes place in Denver in the late 1970s. One of the loans the bank made was to a borrower who owned and operated an egg production facility near the Denver airport. I think of the place as huge chicken condos where thousand of chickens were hatched, grown, and processed. I accompanied Harold to inspect the chicken condos which on that date had no chickens - nor any sign of life. And that is why Harold and the bank got sued by the borrower.

As I recall the borrower alleged that bank over-reached its rights as a secured creditor by engineering an event of default as the pretext for the bank taking possession of the chicken condos and other collateral (including chickens) which the bank then sold. Harold obtained a court order allowing him to enter upon the property and seize the collateral before any judgement on the merits was entered. He then sold the collateral and applied to to the loan. 

The borrower hired some smart lawyers (they always manage to do that) and filed suit in Denver District Court naming the bank and Harold as defendants. The borrower alleged the initial court order was obtained based on incorrect information that Harold supplied and upon which the court relied and that the subsequent taking and liquidation of collateral were improper from the first instance. A jury trial was held months after the chicken condos were seized. I recall that the trial lasted about a week. Can you imagine how much that cost the bank to defend? Bank lawyers don't work cheap. They churn out hundreds or thousands of billable hours to do research, take depositions, prepare for trial, and then sometimes try the case. They work in groups and carry lots of banker boxes filled with papers. Every minute that they talk to each other or someone involved in the case becomes billable time. And the big bank pays for each and every billable minute like clockwork.

At the end of the trial the jury reached its verdict. The jury found in favor of the borrower and against the bank and Harold. The bank lost its remaining claim to any remaining collateral (deed of trust on the land and chicken condos) and had a monetary judgement entered against it in the amount of one million dollars. The judgment required the bank to pay the amount in ten days or post a bond in the event of appeal. The bank elected to pay the judgment and limit the loss to the $1,000,000 and loss of loan secured by the former deed of trust now rendered void. My only connection to this matter was accompanying Harold to see the condos before the chicken.... hit the bank's bottom line.

Key West Real Estate Throwback Thursday No.9

 From: October 1, 2010

...hold the chicken...

I was showing property the other day and had a few minutes to kill between appointments. I asked my buyer if he would like a cup of coffee. Yes, he replied. So I drove over to Sandy's Cafe at the corner of White at Virginia. 

I had been at the same place at about the same time the day before. The guy behind the counter who waited on me then was helping another customer. A new guy looks at me and asked me what I wanted. I said "One small cafe con leche with two sugars and a decaf." He asks "Sugar?" and I said sugar in the con leche but not the decaf. He walks to the coffee machines and starts the laborious process of freshly brewing coffee just for me. He bangs, cleans, adds coffee, turns on the machine, grabs the machine and fiercely jerks it. He removes the small coffee brewer and pours the hot coffee into a small white Styrofoam cup. He added the milk and sugar then put on the top. He placed the cup in front of me. Beat. 

Then I asked where the decaf was. He said "We only have decaf for con leche decaf." I replied I did not want the decaf con leche, only the decaf. He removed the coffee can from the shelf over the coffee machines as if to prove to me that he did indeed have decaf coffee. But then he said they do not sell decaf coffee, only decaf con leche. Since I ordered the exact same thing the day before with no trouble at all, I was perplexed by my inability to get the same thing a day later. But I did not lose my cool. 

Instead, I remembered Jack Nicholson in a similar situation many years ago. I was attending law school when I saw the movie Five Easy Pieces. I was the legal staff assistant to Judge Frank Jamison and Diane Primavera was his Division Clerk (secretary) at that time. Diane asked me "Gary, have you seen Five Easy Pieces?" I said "I've never seen one easy piece." In the movie Five Easy Pieces Jack Nicholson's character (Dupea) is in a diner and wants to order plain wheat toast which is not on the menu but which is easily made. Dupea had an easy way of getting to win:

Dupea: I'd like a plain omelet, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee, and wheat toast.

Waitress: No substitutions.

Dupea: What do you mean? You don't have any tomatoes?

Waitress: Only what's on the menu. You can have a number two - a plain omelette. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.

Dupea: Yeah, I know what it comes with. But it's not what I want.

Waitress: Well, I'll come back when you make up your mind.

Dupea: Wait a minute. I have made up my mind. I'd like a plain omelet, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee, and a side order of wheat toast.

Waitress: I'm sorry, we don't have any side orders of toast...an English muffin or a coffee roll.

Dupea: What do you mean you don't make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don't you?

Waitress: Would you like to talk to the manager?

Dupea: ...You've got bread and a toaster of some kind?

Waitress: I don't make the rules.

Dupea: OK, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.

Waitress: A number two, chicken sal san, hold the butter, the lettuce and the mayonnaise. And a cup of coffee. Anything else?

Dupea: Yeah. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.

Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?

Dupea: I want you to hold it between your knees.

Waitress: Do you see that sign, sir? Yes, you'll all have to leave. I'm not taking any more of your smartness and sarcasm.

Dupea: You see this sign? [He sweeps all the water glasses and menus off the table]

The guy at Sandy's finally gave in and brewed a full cup of decaf with no con leche or sugar. I must have been there five to seven minutes. We barely made our next appointment on time. But we had a great laugh on the way. And I still haven't seen one easy piece. Nothing is easy.

Veterans Day 2020

 

316 Peacon Lane, Key West - Just Listed

Welcome to 316 Peacon Lane, Key West which was just listed for sale by Preferred Properties Key West. That is where I work but this is not my listing.  The listing Realtor describes this 1.986 sq ft home this way:

"Historic Conch style home located in The Famous Key West Seaport Area. Spacious 3 bedroom 3.5 baths Dade County Pine walls and floors throughout which have painstakingly removed, sanded and hand finished, On the first floor there is a large master en-suite, half bath, living, dining and kitchen area, opening to a secluded pool and covered outdoor dining. Upstairs there is another large master, guest room, laundry niche and porch overlooking the tropical trees of downtown. Brick off street parking. Home is being sold turn key with all furniture and necessities."

Let's take a look inside and the pool area. Then I will tell you how to find this nearly hidden gem.

Key West is famous for its historic old homes most of which have been restored or renovated to some extent or another. This house has been totally renovated and expanded. There is bricked off street parking up front plus space for bikes. The porch is the perfect perch for people watching - if ever people go by. This lane is one-way and hard to find. More on that later.  Inside there is large first floor bedroom with ensuite. The open space plan living area is at the rear where two sets of French doors open out to the rear deck that overlooks the pool and garden. Pay attention to the photos because most of what you see is included in the purchase price.

The renovated house now has 1986 sq ft of living space divided between the two floors. The first floor has a full bedroom and bath. There is a large second floor front bedroom also with private bath. The master bedroom is quite large and includes an en-suite bath with shower and tub, ample closets, and a private roof-top deck with great views.

The Calvin Klein house at 316 Eaton Street distracts drivers looking for Peacon Lane which is located on the opposite side of the street.  Peacon Lane is a one-way lane that runs from Eaton to Caroline Street where it ends. The historic seaport is a block away. I checked the Historic Sanborn Fire Maps to determine when this home may have been built. It appeared in 1889 Sanborn Map and was then identified as A5 on Grunt Bone Lane which eventually became Peacon Lane. The A5 house numerator was changed to 116 Grunt Bone and later changed to 316 Peacon Lane. The early Maps identified several small stores on the lane which makes sense given its proximity to the seaport. Today there are two commercial buildings on the corner at Caroline Street. Otherwise, Peacon Lane is known for its quaint single family homes including these below. 

316 Peacon Lane would make a great primary residence or second home. Given its location near Duval and the seaport, it would make a great monthly vacation rental as well. CLICK HERE to view the Key West MLS datasheet and view more listing photos. The please call me, Gary Thomas, 305-766-2642 to schedule a private showing. I am a buyers agent and a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties Key West.

 

724 Windsor Lane, Key West - Just Listed

JUST LISTED - 724 Windsor Lane, Key West located in the heart of Old Town at the "intersection" (smirk) of Windsor and Galveston Lanes across the street from the Historic Key West Writer's Compound and near the top of Solaris Hill. Duval Street is a short stroll to the west and the historic seaport is three long blocks to the north.

The Sanborn Fire Map above is dated 1892. I placed a check to show 724 Windsor Lane's location. This is necessary as the Monroe County Property Appraiser website incorrectly states this house was built in 1972. The map also shows the SEIDENBERG & CO. Cigar Factory was previously located across the street where the Writer's Compound now sits. Imagine sitting on your front porch nestled among the historic old cottages and houses most of which have been restored that lure people from around the world to our island home.

This one bedroom / one bath gem has been updated with new wood floors in the living areas and tile in the bathroom. The kitchen area has a vaulted ceiling with 120 Sq Ft of space for possible expansion. The back door opens out to an enclosed private deck. The washer and dryer are located in a laundry closet at the far side of the deck.

The back deck has new TREX decking. The gate opens out to the off street parking space. This home may not be huge, but having a parking space is a big deal. CLICK HERE to view more photos..

I found an utterly charming article entitled Key West Dialogue published in the NEW YORK TIMES March 18, 1984 by A.B. Beattie. CLICK HERE to read - it's worth reading. Locals and long time returning visitors to Key West will appreciate the first paragraph:

"Key West looks like a lurid postcard. The colors are very intense, and almost everywhere you look there is something scenic. I mean, you can go around Key West taking pictures in your head, because almost everything is perfect. You can't miss there. If there's a crack in the sidewalk, there's hibiscus growing in it. If you see an ugly empty lot, there's always the weird juxtaposition - a mansion directly adjoining it. There's really no harmony. If there's harmony there, it's in the air, it's not really in the way things physically relate to each other."

That was written thirty-six years ago. I don't think it's all that lurid anymore. Most of the cracked sidewalks have been repaved. Some parts are downright gentrified like the property I sold at 744 Windsor Lane earlier this year - sales price $4,700,000. These two properties are totally different. One small and the other very large. They exist in the same space. 

CLICK HERE to view the Key West MLS datasheet for 724 Windsor Lane, Key West at $699,000. I am the listing Realtor on this property. Call me, Gary Thomas, 305-766-2642, to arrange a private showing. I am a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties Key West.