'Twas the Night Before Christmas
'Twas the day before Christmas, when all through the Key West,
Not one single house was available for sale,
Realtor listing signs were stored in sheds - instead.
Agents were gathered in bars around Old Town,
Sipping then slurping gin and tonic,
Bourbon and Seven, Vodka and Soda, and Beer with chaser,
While all the time moaning and groaning about income not earned,
As visions of missed commission checks lost danced in their heads.
As visions of missed commission checks lost danced in their heads.
Soon to be members of Alcoholics Anonymous,
Their self pity was bottomless. I on the other hand was settled all snug in my bed watching NETFLIX.
When out by the pool there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The sun was setting oer to the west;
Gave the luster of twilight to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Santa himself, as if stuck in time,
Peering inside my window.
When out by the pool there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The sun was setting oer to the west;
Gave the luster of twilight to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Santa himself, as if stuck in time,
Peering inside my window.
So down to the Great Room room I flew in a flash,
Hoping to grab a Selfie with the old Elfie;
Hoping to grab a Selfie with the old Elfie;
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
He just stood there staring inside - WTF?
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth.
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
He just stood there staring inside - WTF?
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth.
I grabbed my iPhone and snapped a quickie.
He spoke not a word as he turned with a jerk,
He spoke not a word as he turned with a jerk,
And fled to his sled before leaving a present!
He missed the Christmas Cheer I setup,
On the far side of the pool,
that danged old fool.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave whistle,
And away they all flew toward Sloppy Joe's,
Where the Realtors were falling off on their bar stools,
Where the Realtors were falling off on their bar stools,
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight -
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night"
