I awoke this morning to the very sad news that Chris Matthews had "retired" from MSNBC after several weeks of calls for his firing by women who were offended by his comments and conduct.
I think this who Me Too movement has gotten way out of hand. Current culture has evolved into litmus tests for political and social purity. What one said or did in the past (forty years ago or forty hours ago) can ruin a lifetime of good deeds.
Let me share with you a little story in which I was a perpetrator and a victim. All on the same night.
The year was 1975 or 1976. I as a young attorney in an office in Arvada, Colorado. The senior partner was the president of our county bar association. Back then there were but a handful of women lawyers and none were invited to the male only annual spring fling in Georgetown, Colorado. We caught a chartered school bus which drove us to a restaurant in Georgetown. There was a keg on the bus to get us to liquored up during the 45 minute drive.
We had several cocktails in the saloon before dinner and wine during dinner. We then went to the basement bar for entertainment by dancing girls. And more liquor. As I recall there were three black females who did individual dance sets while moving about the room sitting on male laps, touching the necks and other body parts in a very suggestive manner.
I heard several call outs from several men including a judge I had clerked for to "Get Gary!" to which I responded by moving across the room. The last dancer actually caught me and started in on me. I responded by grabbing her, kissing her, picking her up and kissing her breasts. She stuck her hands in my pants and grabbed me. The room full of attorneys roared with laughter and applause including my boss.
On the way back to Denver a Deputy District Attorney sat next to me on the school bus. His left hand touched my leg when he asked if I wanted to get together with him back at the Holiday Inn in Golden where our cars were parked. I did not respond. He said "Do you know what I mean?" I said I did. And I did not want to do that.
I look back on what I did to that female dancer with horror. In today's world it could be treated as sexual assault. Nobody else did what I did to her or the other women. I was acting out to disprove that I might be gay (which I was and am) by behaving totally inappropriate. Of course, she did that same thing in return. That does not justify either of our conduct.
What the Deputy DA did was worse. He made an actual sexual advance on a member of the same sex. This man later became a judge. What should I do? Should I out him for his conduct 35 years ago? No. That would be wrong.
I worked for the federal government of a few years in the early 1990s. We were in Salt Lake City closing a savings and loan association. A longtime male employee of the FDIC was moved into our agency to supervise during the closing. He was a Puerto Rican male in his 40s. He repeatedly made crude remarks to a young girl on her first job out of college. She was terrified by his contact. I called my supervisor who was in Denver the first change I got on the Monday after the events. She was immediately assigned to some other task. He was not removed or admonished for his conduct even though everyone who witnessed it knew he was totally out of bounds.
A year later I was in some meeting. I remember this woman employee making suggestive comments about my butt. Another time a guy asked me if I "worked out". Of course these comments would make anyone feel uncomfortable. But are they by themselves a reason for a person to lose their job? I think not. Neither then nor now.
Women rightfully object to old white men in Washington or in state capitols making life and death decisions on women's reproductive rights. I don't understand how we got to a point that women have become the arbiters of male conduct to the point where jobs and careers are lost or destroyed.
I will miss Chris Matthews challenging guests to "Tell me something I don't know." He knew so much and challenged us all.
