Throwback Thursday No. 3

From August 4, 2012
HOW GAY WAS MY VILLA?

It's a free world (at least it is here in Key West) where people can be and do just about anything and everything. We all seem to get along. And except for some do-gooders that sit on some public commissions, we all try to stay out of each others "business".

Some places amaze me

One of the really great things about my job as a Realtors is that I get to see inside so many Key West homes. Some places amaze me. Sometimes after I have visited a really incredible home, I go back to my house and feel the need to clean, or paint, or redecorate. Other places sometimes make me feel pity for the sad souls that live in helpless hovels. I have been inside more than enough places that reek of urine but that are inhabited by human beings. I have had to move sideways through rooms filled with years of accumulated trash. And I wonder what in the world is wrong with the people that live there.

This is one of the better (cleaner) views of this house of horror filled with dead animals

I have been in multi-million dollar properties that exude an ambiance most of us can only dream of. But more regularly I get to see some really nice homes that are comfortably decorated with Key West flair. You can't by flair in a store, but you know it when you see it. If you have enough money you can hire someone with flair to decorate your home for you. Many of the chicest of homes in Key West are gay owned have the look and style buyers want.

And there have been a few occasions I have shown houses that are just a gay as gay can get. The most memorable gay house was located in the Meadows area. I showed that house several times a few years back. It had the obligatory statue of David near the pool. There were statuettes, oil paintings, charcoal prints,and etchings of nude and semi-nude males throughout the house and garden. Every square foot had some form of art that paid homage to the naked male figure. After months of not being able to sell the house, the listing Realtor finally persuaded the owner to store some of the artwork off property. A few years later when that same house was for sale again, I actually noticed what terrible shape the house was in. The naughty artwork from before had distracted my attention from the condition of the property itself. But it did the same thing to my potential buyers because nobody was ever interested in seeing that place a second time.

One gay man asked me to look at his house to discuss listing it. That was in 2006 when Key West was in the height of the real estate boom. I might have got the listing had I not told him to take down the huge and virtually nude portrait of himself that hung above French doors leading to the back yard.

There was also that time I was in a really nice home located at the dead end of a Key West lane to discuss listing the house. The owner and I were standing in one of two master baths discussing the features of the house when I spotted it. The DILDO! I lost my voice and the ability to put words together to make a sentence. Decorating with dildos is a no-no.!

I have seen enough mannequins dressed in drag or adorned in leather posed in the corner of a room or next to a window that I don't even take a second look anymore. But my buyers do.

Mannequins are one thing. Slings are another. A couple of years ago I wrote a blog about "The War of the Roses" house. I showed it several times. The name I gave the property was derived from the ordeal the two gay owners were going through in the split of their personal lives and their real estate investments. I had to laugh at the "guest" bedroom that was set up as a dungeon complete with sling. Most of my buyers did find that room very interesting.

A couple of years ago I wrote about a home owned by some gay friends who left town and had placed their house for sale. The place had a long term tenant who himself had several roommates. The renter had turned the place into his own comfortable gay love nest. I say that kindly. The tenant was as sweet as he could be. The place was always immaculate. Let's just say the walls of the master bedroom and master bath were decorated primarily with photos of naked gay porn stars. I think it would be very difficult for a normal straight couple to imagine living in this house because of the huge collection of gay porn photos and other gay decorations throughout the house and near the pool. God, I must sound like some prude!

Call me old fashioned. I grew up in the 1950s when gay decorating was -- different. But what the heck. This is Key West. It is okay to be gay here, and it is okay to decorate your home, condo, or villa anyway you want.

If you are thinking of buying a place in Key West and are looking for a gay Realtor, call me, Gary Thomas, 305-766-2642 or contact my by e-mail at kw1101v@aol.com. I am a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties Coastal Realty, Inc. Living life in Key West is just great. I could care less how you decorate your villa as long as you are happy. However, sometimes it might be a little easier to sell your home if you hide your porn and stow away the dildos.

How Gay Was My Villa?

Key West is a great place to live. You can be and do just about anything and everything. Except for some do-gooders who sit on some public commissions, we all try to stay out of each others "business".  The rich and not so rich often live side-by-side. One's station in life does not matter. Gay and straight live together. Generational Conchs and newbies from around the world live and work together. People of different faiths, different races, and political persuasions all get along. We are an accepting community. The openness and welcoming nature of Key West as a community was one of the main reasons I decided to move here. I could be me.

I am a Realtor. I am gay. Most of my customers are straight and accepting. I sell houses to people who hope to move here to become a part of the Key West community. One of the really great things about my job as a Realtors is that I get to see inside so many Key West homes. Some places amaze me either for their architectural design, decor, or outdoor living area. Or all three. I have found that a great many of my favorite properties were gay owned. To be perfectly honest, some of the oddest places I have shown were also gay owned or occupied. I would like to share some remembrances of the latter.

Decorating with David and Other Dudes!

I have learned that a great number of gays have statutes of David in their homes or gardens. I consider the David statute as being code for a "gay man lives here". Some owners have additional pieces of  homo erotic art peppered around their homes. I have been in homes owned by women where the female figure is prominently or sometimes selectively displayed.

 

 Not all of the homoerotic art I have seen relates back to the Greeks and Romans. I have seen lots of modern "art" photos, pop culture photos, posters, paintings, and more recently photos of porn stars.

I have several memorable properties that I would like to share with my Readers. The first house was a two story place located in the Meadows area. I showed that house several times a few years back. It had the obligatory Statue of David near the pool. There were  little statuettes, oil paintings, charcoal prints, and etchings of nude and semi-nude males throughout the house and garden. You could not move your eye from one area of a room to another without seeing a nude male image. The listing Realtor for that property worked in my office. He told me that after months of not being able to sell the house, he finally persuaded the owner to store some of the art off site. The emphasis was "some" because there was still plenty of male nudes in the house after boxes of other pieces were taken away. The house eventually sold and that owner put it up for sale. That's when I noticed what horrible condition the place was in.The naughty nudes had distracted my attention from the condition of the property itself. I never noticed the condition because I was so distracted by all the naked bodies.

I showed another house located in the Arts District (east of White Street) on several occasions. The owners had moved away and leased the space to a really nice gay man who had several roommates. The place had gay art, Fantasy Fest paraphernalia, boas, wigs, and hoopla everywhere. The master bathroom had photos of nude male porn stars everywhere. I remember that the light switch in the master bath room was a miniature penis. The tenant used to work for an international celebrity. The listing Realtor allowed the tenant to show the house - well, it wasn't so much that he allowed it to happen, the tenant always greeted potential buyers at the front door and started the tour. We got to hear his story, his famous former employer's story, and we got to peer into this den of men! It took forever to sell this place.

Back in 2006 when Key West was at the height of the real estate boom one gay man asked me to look at his Shipyard condo to discuss listing it. When I entered the place the first thing I saw was a nude oil painting of him laying in the sand. The painting was placed near the French doors that opened to the rear deck. I might have got the listing had I not told him to take down the portrait.

A local gay man visited with me in my office a few years back and said he wanted to sell his house. Local architect Tom Pope had designed the recently built house which was located at the dead end of a Key West lane. The house was new construction and not a renovation. Given those few facts I was sure that I could sell this place quickly. I decided to go the property to see the place so that I could suggest the listing price. The owner showed me around from room to room. While we were standing opposite each other in the master bath I looked down into one of the dual sinks when I spotted it. The DILDO! It was laying in the sink. All of a sudden I was not able to utter a word. I could not get words out of my mouth let alone put words together to make a sentence. I pivoted and made my way to the living room where I said good bye to the owner. I knew I could never look that man in the eye again.

And then there was the gay owned home with an incredible master suite that included a stunning sitting room and bedroom chamber outfitted with three single beds.

Mannequins pop up every now and then. I'm not sure why people buy them let alone why they play a part of home decoration. They don't surprise me anymore. Slings are another matter. A few years ago I showed a house where a gay couple was splitting up. They owned a very nice home in a very good Old Town location. Everything about the house two story home looked picture perfect, that is until I walked into the guest bedroom which was painted black. There was a sling. That was not a typo. Many homes in Key West have cute little swings. This room had a sling!

If you are thinking of buying or selling a place in Key West and are looking for a Realtor, call me, Gary Thomas, 305-766-2642 or contact my by e-mail at kw1101v@aol.com. I am a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties Coastal Realty, Inc. Living life in Key West is just great. I could care less how you decorate your villa as long as you are happy. However, it might be a little easier to sell your home if you take down photos of your favorite gay porn stars and stow away the dildos.