The Metalic Man and the Clicker

How in the world could something so innocent as a tiny little metal clicker have to do with buying a house in Key West? How, indeed!

The above photo shows Judge Joseph P. Lewis, Betty the division clerk, Velma the court reporter (stenographer), and me. The photo was taken 43 years ago. I was Judge Lewis' legal staff assistant. I had recently graduated from the University of Denver College of Law when the photo was taken. I had passed the bar and was looking for a job as an attorney. I was 25 at that time. I stood 5'8" tall and probably weighed 135 pounds.  Look at the pic. I don't look very intimidating, and I certainly never lived up to the nickname my dad gave me as a child - Butch. What happened one day at the Jefferson County Hall of Justice in Golden Colorado (that's where Coor's Beer is made) may help you understand the importance of the clicker and how it relates to me as a Realtor 43 years later.

Former Jefferson County Hall of Justice

Walkway from former Hall of Justice to Clerk's Office and County Jail

 Judge Lewis' courtroom was on the forth floor (top floor) of the building pictured above right. The county jail was located about 150 feet away in a separate building.  The county clerk's office was situated between the two. The interior of the Hall of Justice was open from the ground floor to the ceiling of the forth floor with courtrooms or administrative rooms situated on all four sides of the building. Interior walls were blond brick. Noise of any sort sounded throughout the building and even filtered into the courtrooms.

One afternoon I was in the hallway outside our courtroom talking to two Deputy District Attorneys.  A man in his 40's or early 50's exited the clerk's office and began clicking a clicker in rapid succession as he walked the hallway heading toward the elevators.  Back then we did not have police or sheriff's officers in the courtrooms or hallways. Nobody had to pass through a metal detector at the entrance to the courthouse.  We had not yet become a society that was afraid of everything and everyone. So there was nobody to stop this metallic madman from disturbing the solemnity of the courthouse.

I left the Deputy D.A.s and moved quickly to the elevator hall where I grabbed the elevator door and braced my right arm against the door to prevent it from closing. I yelled "Ralph, call the Sheriff!"  Ralph was a older man, probably in his sixties, whose office was located just off the elevator lobby. The clicker man was alarmed when I prevented his exit. He began chopping at my arm with his arm, trying to break my hold. He hit me repeatedly. And it hurt like hell.

Steve Worrell, a fellow classmate from law school, came out of his courtroom into the hall to see what was going on. Steve played football in high school and even though he wasn't much taller than me, he was definitely bigger in size and stature, and surely he wasn't the sort of guy you would want to pick a fight with. I wouldn't call myself a wimp, but I was. Oops I just outed myself as a wimp!

Steve reached past my arm and grabbed clicker man by the shirt and quickly waltzed him straight across the hallway into the marble wall.  I think Steve was about ready to punch the man, but someone either grabbed the man or Steve to prevent things from getting more difficult. Within a couple of minutes a couple of deputy sheriffs arrived. I told them what had happened. They put the man in handcuffs and took him next door to the county jail.

Later that afternoon I got a phone call from the Captain in charge at the jail that day. He asked me to come over and sign the complaint under which the man had been arrested. When I got there the captain made me an offer. He said I could go inside the holding cell and hit the guy. He even offered to have some guards hold him for me so that I could beat the hell out of him. I am as serious as I can be. I don't lie, and I don't make stuff like this up. I told him no and that was the end of that.

The next day the man was arraigned in the courtroom of Judge C. F. Johnson. The Judge had me sworn in, and I related what had happened in the hallway the day before. My recollection is that the man admitted what I said was accurate. He was taken away on a mental health hold for three days. I don't recall anything further ever happening in this regard.  But I will never forget the Captain's offer to let me beat up the guy who had hit me.

Many locals in Key West visit the Monroe County Sheriff's web page CLICK HERE several times a week where we can see who has been arrested and on what charge.  It's not uncommon to see someone we know get picked up for driving under the influence or some other infraction.  Sometimes I see images of people that disturb me.

48 years old when arrested. Disabled and held on municipal ordinance violation

68 years old when arrested for failure to appear

58 years old when arrested for failure to appear

Barbara was 62 years old when arrested for a municipal ordinance violation

None of the offenses would explain how these people got the bruises and lacerations pictured above. There is no justification in my mind that could possibly permit someone in authority to hurt these people.  These pictures are just examples of what you can and will see on a regular basis of people who are processed through the Monroe County Jail. I'm not saying the Sheriff's officers did this and I am not saying a city policeman hit these people.  Somebody did.  

I moved to Key West in December 1993 and have been selling homes since December 1996. I love living in Key West, Florida. I encourage people to move here and fulfill their dream of living in Paradise. I encourage would-be buyers to checkout the Monroe County Sheriff's website on a regular basis - not to see photos of the abused but to see where the defendants live, where they were arrested, and the charges against them. This personal search is a sure fire way to determine for oneself areas of town that a buyer may determine are better than others. Key West is a very safe place to live. Most of our person on person crime occurs between spouses, partners, roommates or people living together. Stranger on stranger crimes are normally bar fights.  

I will never regret not punching the man with the clicker. Never!

Verifeid: Gary Thomas does have a Heart

To Loyal Readers who have called or written emails in the past few weeks asking why I have not been writing as many blogs as normal, I want to let you know that I have not been my old self lately.  Put the emphasis on old. 

Many years ago I used to work in the commercial loan workout department at one large bank and then became manager of special assets department at different bank. During my years at both banks I encountered many people who had gazillion reasons why they had not or could not repay the money they had borrowed from the bank.  More often than I care to remember, a lot of women and several men (including a former Colorado State Senator) and a president of several small industrial banks in Colorado, would pull out their hankies and cry like babies over their self-created woes hoping I would stop my dogged pursuit of collecting the monies they owed.  I didn't fall for their crying game.  To them, I seemed heartless.  On the day we auctioned off the homestead, numerous sections of acreage, and farm machinery as the wife of a prominent Kansas farmer told me something like "Gary Thomas I hope you rot in hell. You are a heartless man!"  When someone tells you something like that, you might forget the exact words, but you don't forget the sentiment.  Her husband got to keep his very expensive Beechcraft Bonanza, however.  We never were able to get a security interest in that plane. 

Maybe, just maybe, the old farmer's wife was right:  I didn't have a heart.  I have been feeling a bit poorly lately.  I've had my share of nurses inserting needles into me, putting chemicals in me, and radiating my upper body looking for a heart.  I recently had to go to Miami for a more extensive look-see. I really got stuck with some mighty big needles and thingamajigs were sent thought my body in search of my heart. After about an hour of digging around inside of me, they found it. The passages were a bit crusty, but not so bad as to require a stint or worse, surgery.  My ex drove up with me and brought me back last night. He said I could tell people they found it:  Gary Thomas does have a heart.  The good thing is isn't broken and it is gonna keep on ticking. I just have to start taking medicine to keep the blood flowing.  This was good news to me, too. It sure beats the alternative. 

Gay Divorce Court

Frequent Readers may know that many years ago (I started practice in 1973) I was an attorney in Arvada, Colorado which is a suburb of Denver.  I worked in a five man law firm where I handled a variety of types of cases.  My first divorce case was a true learning experience. I landed a lulu. I can't recall all of the details which is good since I might get accused of breaching client confidentiality. But I do recall the lessons I learned in dealing with people who are splitting up, namely - get paid up front and make sure to charge enough money; don't get suckered into the bitterness; try to convince the client not to go crazy and end up in jail for hitting the mother-in-law or the new boyfriend (or girlfriend); charge plenty of money - yes, plenty of money. Repeat charge plenty of money. 

In that first case I represented a woman who lived in Adams County, a suburb north of Denver. My practice was in Jefferson County a suburb west of Denver. The county seat was in Golden, Colorado where Coors Beer is made.  I filed the divorce action in the Jefferson County District Court since all District Courts have statewide jurisdiction. The husband hired an attorney who accepted the venue in Jefferson County.  If he had challenged we would have lost.  But that's the only easy thing that happened in this case. My recollection is hazy on whether my client (the wife) or her husband got arrested for assault on the opposite party. That action landed whichever party in the Adam's County jail.  I know I was there but can't recall why I was there. A couple of weeks later I appeared in the El Paso County District Court in Colorado Springs where the husband had been arrested for fighting with or inside the wife's mothers home.  I was involved in three jurisdictions involving two criminal cases and one divorce case.  I vowed to not let something like that happen again.

But it did. Repeatedly. Within a few months I represent a nice looking young guy in his late 20s who was a Casper Milk Toast banker type guy. Clean cut and handsome. He had a beautiful wife and a couple of really cute kids. He owned a nice suburban house. And his world was falling apart.  He stalked the wifey and found some good looking stud hanging around the house when his kids were there. My client barged in and got himself arrested for beating the other guy up.  Even Casper Milk Toast guys can beat up studs if given good cause.  We ended up in criminal court. The wife's attorney was a woman (which was relatively new in those days).  The attorney took a genuine dislike to me which I found odd. I think I am and have always been like able. I do not now nor did I then consider myself to be sneaky or mean or anything other than professional. But that lawyer and I never did get along. Oh and my client got arrested for beating up the studly boyfriend a second time. The stud should have learned not to mess around with the wife when the kids were home. We eventually got the divorce the couple wanted.  It cost the couple a lot of money.  I wonder if the stud ended up with the wife.  I wonder if the kids ended up marrying and divorcing and fighting with their spouses (or boyfriends or girlfriends). I am a believer that people repeat their parents' lives. 

I represented another guy who got arrested for pushing his wife's head down the toilet during the middle of the divorce. That did not look very good. I think we entered into a plea bargain on that. I don't think I would ever let something like that go to trial.

I represent a general contractor on a couple of matters. He and wife had split a few years earlier.  The divorce decree was in place as was the order for monthly child support. He was substantially in arrears.  The District Attorney filed a motion to hold my delinquent client in contempt of court for non payment of child support. This normally results in the man paying arrears rather than being found in contempt and ordered to jail. I warned my client of his pending doom if he did not pay. He hated the ex and said he would take time off work just to mess with her. The hearing was held near Christmas week. My client was found in contempt of court and taken into custody that day and spent the next week in jail.  The jail sentence purged him of contempt but did not free him of the obligation to pay the past due child support payments. The wife would have to wait a long time before she could prosecute a new contempt of court proceeding.

I stopped doing divorces and went into banking. Twenty years ago I moved to Key West.  A couple of years later I got my real estate license and started to sell houses. Key West has a large gay population and every now and then gay couples decide to call their relationships 'quits'.  Since the State of Florida has never legalized same sex marriage, there is no such thing as a gay divorce. But that does not stop legal battles about property splits or spousal abuse.

I remember showing a house a few years ago where two guys were splitting up. One of the partners got to stay with the house while the other moved to another property the pair owned. The men owned a business over which they were quarrelling in court. The local bank that financed that business got involved in the partnership breakup and got a receiver appointed to protect the assets of the business. Both men hired separate lawyers. The bank hired its lawyer and the receiver hired his lawyer.  The four lawyers took substantial fees from the proceeds of the sale of the business and the house which had a special bedroom that was painted black and that had a sling.

A female couple called it quits a couple of years ago. They hired lawyers in the state where they lived to help adjudicate the property split.  They also owned a place in Key West which had to be sold and the money sent to the home state for final distribution. They had lawyers where they lived and lawyers down in Key West just to make sure the other side did not gain a pecuniary advantage.  Justice costs money. Justice makes some lawyers quite wealthy.

Several states have approved legislation that recognizes gay marriages or civil unions. There will inevitably be gay divorces. I expect gays will do divorces like they do parades - with panache.

And that caused me to envision what we might see on a TV show called GAY DIVORCE COURT. I can just envision the drama we could witness.  There would be tales straight folks could not imagine.  It might be hilarious. It might be tragic.  I can envision ribald tales over the splitting marital property and fighting over such things as the collection of clown plates painted by Red Skelton (really!) or anything the pair mutually collected.  Straight couple fight over custody of the children. Gays will inevitably fight over pets.  And since many gay couple are now parents, there will be custody disputes where the real reason for the split will be aired. A former fellow agent who split with his partner of many years told me his ex beat him up. The guy who got beat up is a big man.  I was shocked but sometimes smaller guys can really mess up bigger guys. Another former fellow agent has been arrested for domestic battery by strangulation - twice.  Women beat each other as well.  I expect nothing less than hilarity or tragedy in each episode. 

Watch for GAY DIVORCE COURT. Someone will produce it.  It ought to be a winner.

Labor Day Open House - 630 Elizabeth Street - Old Town - Key West

I will be hosting a LABOR DAY OPEN HOUSE on Sunday at 630 Elizabeth Street between 12:00 to 2:00 PM. I will be providing hard hat tours of this wonderful old Key West property that is ready for renovation. This property has received HARC approval to convert this current "legal duplex" into a 2300 sq ft single family residence. CLICK HERE for more information on this renovation opportunity.

Turn this OLD HOUSE into your NEW HOUSE

1020 Von Phister Street - Casa Marina Area - Key West

Entry Hall

Would you like a place that seems far removed from the hustle and bustle of the regular world; a place designed by a world famous architect as his Key West getaway; a place where each room is unique; a home where each bedroom has its own private veranda; Then consider the home just listed by Preferred Properties (that's where I work but this is not my listing) at 1020 Von Phister Street in the Casa Marina Area of Key West. The listing Realtor describes this special property this way:

"Award wining Architect built and designed this home for himself in 2002 on one of the prettiest blocks in the Casa Marina. Just recently it has been improved even more to reflect the Key West lifestyle. As you enter the foyer you are greeted with an abundance of light and a view of the massive sliding doors that open to the pool and tropical landscaping. The home consists of 3 ensuite bedrooms, office, laundry room and a kitchen that opens to the living and dining area. The unusually large upstairs master has two bathrooms and a great outdoor shower on an oversized deck surrounded by Orchids. An elaborate solar power system supplies the electric and heats the pool There are two rolling gates for off street parking."

Living and Dining Areas share a view of the beautiful pool and gardens to the rear

The Chef is never far from the action in this open kitchen

The architecture and design lets you know upon entry that you are someplace "special". The formal entry entices you to walk through to the living room with its two story view of the pool and gardens. Each of the two bedrooms on the main level have a private bath and private veranda. The stairway to the second floor has windows with muted views of the garden to the east. Then you enter the large master suite with his and hers (or in Key West it could be his and his, or hers and hers) bathrooms. The master suite has a built in bookcase that overlooks the living room below and the pool and gardens. If that isn't enough, the master suite has its private second floor veranda which would be great for some stunning sunning. And there is a even an orchid garden adjacent to the private outdoor shower with obscured views of the forest primeval next door. It's like having a park next door.

Master Bedroom with his and hers baths

The three block section of Von Phister between White Street to the east and Reynolds Street to the west has several giant mahogany trees and numerous other palm and ornamental trees that give the stretch an almost park like feel. Von Phister Street runs parallel to Flagler Avenue which leads to the Casa Marina Hotel two blocks west. Von Phister is very quiet street close to everything, yet far enough away not to be in the middle of anything. You can walk to the beaches in five minutes or so. You can ride your bike to one of about seven gyms or yoga places within 5 blocks. There's a nearby grocery store, a Dairy Queen, some art galleries, churches, and the Glynn Archer School. While those businesses are near, they are not in the area itself. And that means your neighbors are homes and not businesses. You have to go leave the sanctity of Von Phister to go back to the real world. It's not that far away. But it is far enough.

1020 Von Phister Street has 1977 sq ft of living space and sits on a large 4558 sq ft lot (46.75 x 97.25) lot. The house was built new (not remodeled) in 2002. There isn't another house like it anywhere. It is real a beauty. CLICK HERE to view the Key West mls datasheet on this house and to view listing photos.


I got to take my own photos which you can see if you CLICK HERE. I live across the street and to the east just a tad bit. I love living in this area. And I am really serious about the beauty of the very special home at 1020 Von Phister Street. Please call me, Gary Thomas, 305.766.2642 to schedule a showing of this property. You will be very pleasantly surprised. I am buyers agent and a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties Coastal Realty, Inc.

White Street Pier is an easy nighttime stroll away

911 Grinnell Street - Bank Owned - Old Town - Key West

The new listing at 911 Grinnell Street will likely turn into a feeding frenzy as many prospective buyers submit offers on this Bank Owned single family house in Old Town that is offered at just $399,900. The listing Realtor describes the property thus:

"Cute 2 story Conch home has 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, located in Old Town Key West. Home features: Dade County pine , stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, new carpets, updated bathrooms and a swimming pool."

911 Grinnell Street as it appeared only a couple of years ago

I showed this house several times in the past few years when it was listed as a short sale at a much higher price. Obviously, the house did not sell then. I had a buyer that submitted an all cash offer at a price higher than the current asking price, but we were unable to get the previous owner to accept it. Such is often the case. Let me share with you the description of this property before it became bank owned:

"Located in a quiet part of Old Town this gorgeous 2+ bedroom 2 bath home has just been totally renovated with an architect's supervision. The upstairs master suite includes a sitting room, walk-in closet, and views to the east over neighborhood rooftops and gardens. The kitchen is spacious and open w/granite counter tops. The beautiful bathrooms feature unique custom tile work and modern fixtures/faucets. This home has two French doors that open to the deck and the wonderful, sunny, private back yard, landscaped with tropical vegetation, a pool, and outdoor shower. The front porch is spacious and feels like an outdoor room."

Dade County Pine walls throughout the main floor living area

Recent kitchen with stainless steel stove and dishwasher only

Snappy newer bath

I recall some occasional difficulty in showing the house when it was listed for sale because it was continually rented as a vacation rental. Yes, a vacation rental. It had most of the features repeat vacationers want when they rent a house including that ever-so-necessary charm, Dade County walls, and pool. CLICK HERE to view the property when it was marketed as a vacation rental. Carefully read the narrative description (which explains there are really three bedrooms and then view the photos that entice renters to select this property. Click the photo which will start a slide presentation. Remember the property is now vacant and the furnishings are no longer there.

Pool prior to foreclosure

Pool now. But it can look wonderful again.

911 Grinnell Street is located midway between Truman Avenue on the south and Olivia Street which runs parallel to the Key West cemetery. Click GOOGLE MAP for an aerial perspective and remember to use the toggle switch for a street view. The bar up on the corner at Truman stays open late and re-opens at 8:00 AM. The cemetery on the other hand stays quiet forever. There is a mix of single family homes (some extraordinary) and some apartments. The property to the rear on Watson Lane is undergoing an huge restoration. It ought to have a very positive impact of adjacent property values when it is completed. This is a true Key West neighborhood. In other words quaint the block ain't. But it has convenient access to Duval Street five blocks to the west. There are several gyms, yoga studios, restaurants, shops and some galleries along the White and Truman corridors. This house does not have off street parking but on street parking is normally not difficult.

CLICK HERE to view photos of this property as it looks on August 25, 2011.

CLICK HERE to view the Key West mls listing sheet. Then if you are serious and want to buy 911 Grinnell Street, you must make a serious offer. Forget about trying to buy it for less than the already very low asking price of $399,900. There will be multiple offers many of which will be all cash with few if any contingencies. The bank requires proof of cash or pre-approval by Bank of America on any non-cash offers. In all likelihood the bank will solicit best and final offers from the anticipated multiple offers. If you want this property it is yours to lose by making a tight-fisted offer.

If you would like to see 911 Grinnell Street before its gone (which will likely be in a matter of days) please contact me, Gary Thomas, 305-766-2642 or by email at kw1101v@aol.com. I am a buyer's agent and a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties Coastal Realty, Inc. in Key West. This bank owned property is a bargain at the asking price. Seriously!

2430 Fogarty Avenue - Key West - Estate Sale

2430 Fogarty Avenue - Key West

Just listed, but not by me, 2430 Fogarty Avenue in Key West. The listing agent describes the property this way:

"Perfect home for a small family, this renovated CBS has a 2 bedroom/1 bath main house, and a 1/1 attached efficiency. Boasting a concrete fence streetside, the spacious front yard is nicely landscaped with a magnificent Bismark palm, and a brick walkway and brick drive and carport. This home also features tiled floors, laundry room with washer/dryer, and a 12x13 work/storage shed on a concrete slab. The kitchen has stainless steel appliances, bullnosed granite counter tops and fine wood & glass cabinets. Metal Bahama shutters. Sliding gate for the carport. Back patio area is partially covered."

This 1330 sq ft home has three bedrooms and two baths plus the mother-in-law apartment mentioned above. Oh, and the yard is immense: 5,000 sq ft (50'x100'). There is plenty of room for a pool in the backyard. The front yard is enclosed from the street by a privacy fence. There is even a covered carport which is accessed via a rolling gate. The front entryway and driveway have brick pavers and the area is lit at night. The landscaping is very simple and quite beautiful. CLICK HERE to view the Key West mls database and to view listing photos.

Shiny new kitchen

Living and mini kitchen in the mother-in-law apartment

Bahama shutters on all windows will reduce your windstorm insurance

New air conditioning, covered patio, and large back yard with room for a pool

Fenced and gated driveway and lit front walkway

This property is an estate sale. The property was just appraised and the property is listed at $349,000 or $262 per sq ft.

If you would like to see 2430 Fogarty Avenue or any other property in Key West, please consider calling me, Gary Thomas, 305-766-2642. I am a buyer's agent and a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties Coastal Realty, Inc. in Key West.

Las Salinas Condominium Unit 112 West - Key West

I've been to Las Salinas three times in my life. Once was a few years ago during Realtor caravan. (That's when local agents preview new listings.) The second and third times were this week. I am showing properties for another agent who is out of town this week. I was very pleasantly surprised at how nice (and affordable) Unit 112 West is and decided I wanted to share my impressions with you. On June 3rd I wrote about a possible double dip in the recession and stated "I have never shown a unit at Las Salinas and won't. I wouldn't want a buyer of mine to buy there." About 20 readers added their comments, most of which were negative. I must admit I wrote without knowing what I was talking about. I should run for Congress.

The listing Realtor describes Unit 112 West this way:

"This may well be the nicest 2/2 available in Las Salinas. Granite counters, Stainless appliances. Basically a completely new unit. Comes with deeded covered parking. Location is great in the condo project and Las Salinas is extremely convenient to the beaches and shopping center areas."

New Kitchen, New Appliances, New Lighting and Clean Everywhere

I did a quick comparison to the other units currently available at Las Salinas and found that other units are priced less on a price per sq ft basis and that a similar sized unit with a better view but which has not been recently updated costs much higher on a per sq ft and real dollar basis. I have not been inside the other units. I suggest a potential buyer look at several and then determine which works best as far as price, location, view, and most importantly how the units compare as to functionality. If you think about it, moving into a place that appears all new has to make you feel better than moving into a place that you feel you need to paint or repair to make it more livable. Unit 112 West is offered at $229,000.

This unit has a Deeded Covered Parking Space

There are currently 15 homes, condos and townhomes for sale in Key West that are priced under $250,000. CLICK HERE to view the Key West mls datasheet on this unit. And CLICK HERE to see the rest of the photos I took of this unit. This building is about a five minute walk to the South Roosevelt esplanade. You will see walkers, joggers, skaters, bicyclists, and more doing their thing along the scenic waterway. Yes, the ocean sometimes smells. But most of the time it is a scenic delight.

If you would like to see this property or any other property in Key West, please consider working with me, Gary Thomas, 305-766-2642. I am a buyer's agent and a full time Realtor at Preferred Properties Coastal Realty, Inc. in Key West. Las Salinas Unit 112 West is worth looking at.