It was lunch time in January 1973 when I walked into the Foss Drugstore in Golden, Colorado and learned of the ROE V. WADE decision by the United States Supreme Court. That day was one of those days I will never forget. I knew how controversial the abortion issue was. And I also knew it would give women a safer way of dealing with pregnancy. Today's blog is not to re-litigate the decision but to share a real life story that could have had a different ending were the decision rendered sooner.
I had just passed the Colorado Bar Exam and was waiting to find my first job as an attorney. I was and had been the legal staff assistant to a judge at the Jefferson County Courthouse in Golden. Two years earlier I shared an apartment with a guy I will call Ronald. We were students at the University of Denver Law School. Ronald was pretty good looking. He came from money. His parent s bought him a 1970 Mustang. He always had cash. He had two girls he saw regularly. One girl was kind of frumpy. Ronald told me they had meaningless sex to take care of his needs. He often made derogatory remarks about her but not to her. And he got her to clean our apartment on alternating weekends. I cleaned it when it was my turn.
I will call the other girlfriend Nancy. She also went to DU where she was an undergraduate. She was the daughter of a very prominent trial lawyer who was
also a bigwig in the Democratic Party. Really big. Nancy was very sweet,
very pretty, and very important to her father and mother.
Ronald and I met at some Democratic Party event in 1966 and became friends. We moved in together in 1969 when we entered DU. The apartment building was located in the Capital Hill area of Denver. It had an indoor pool, sauna, and was very nicely furnished - all for $200 per month or $100 each. We lived there for one year and decided not to renew our lease for a second year. We remained friends. I could not stand how he used people.
Ronald and I got together sometime the next year when he told me that he and Nancy found out that she was pregnant just a couple days before she was to fly to Paris to attend the Sorbonne. Nancy decided to stop in London before going to Paris where she had an illegal abortion. It went horribly wrong. She ended up in a real hospital. She could never have children. Her parents flew over to comfort her.
Ronald told me Nancy's father met with him and told him he would never practice law in Colorado. I don't think I ever saw or talked to Ronald after that. Nothing judgmental on my part. It just did not happen.
I Googled his name and learned he got a job at some government agency in Washington D. C. I checked back a couple of years ago. I saw where he used to live in Virginia. I say used to live because by then he had passed away of so disease.
Ronald was an okay person in some ways, but he was mostly a user. A taker. He took Nancy's life without killing her. Things might have been different if ROE v.WADE had been decided earlier.
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4 comments:
I knew a retired OB/GYN who was the most conservative guy I had ever met. I disagreed with him on literally everything. One day I was stuck talking to him at a family event and I was a bit taken back when he told me he is pro-choice. I asked the reason. He went on to explain that he did his residency in a hospital in NYC from 1972-1973. When he first arrived at this city hospital there were two entire floors dedicated solely to taking care of beautiful young girls who were victimized and traumatized by back alley abortions. These girls were bludgeoned, bleeding internally and most could never have children again. Regrettably, some never made it out of the hospital. According to this ultra conservative OB/GYN, within six months of Roe v. Wade, the entire two floors were empty and no longer needed. Sometimes the reality of life hits you between the eyes and gets in the way of ignorant bliss.
I'll take a hard pass on the politics at play in the story. But man, what a story. As the father of a daughter, I am so mad at Ronald I'd like to punch him in the face. More than once. I've known plenty of Ronalds. They always make my blood boil. And I'm nearly equally mad at Nancy. Yet my heart breaks for her and I just wish I could comfort her and try, but likely fail, to make things OK again. That's something dads do. Especially for their little girls. Even when they aren't so little anymore.
This is a cogent and very well written piece about a tragedy faced by hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of families every year. Very thought provoking, and a worthwhile read. Thanks so much for sharing.
let's give it another look, it was in the mid 1950's and 2 students had an exciting summer an the girl got pregnant, are you recognize the story by now? The boyfriend wanted her to have an abortion. She refused and had the baby and gave it up for adoption ( are you following) it was a middle class family from California ( got it) , the baby made a dent in the Universe , the name Steve Jobs and you are using the i phone right now and all the other toys. So you never really know who do you abort it may be another Einstein or Steve Jobs. By the way abortions are as old as mankind, I am not judging just give it some thought!!!
Not sure a business blog is the place to bring up abortion, but I respect your right to free speech, and if your company allows it then fine.
Abortion is always the wrong decision as Nancy found out very tragically. As a parent she likely would have regretted the decision even without the medical complications. I don't know of any parents of a child who was unplanned saying, "Damn! Sure wish I had aborted him/her." They always say how great their life is because of the child. Parents never regret having their kids.
If Nancy had given birth to her baby she would be a parent now, likely with a great relationship with the son or daughter that was lost to abortion. If she adopted, she will likely realize what a great option that would have been for her child.
I have seen women regret their abortion/abortions, and experience depression and worse. Even today there are sometimes deaths and medical complications, some not showing up until later in life when a woman WANTS to get pregnant. You never know how life is going to turn out.
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