As always this is a true story. The names have been changed to protect me from lawyers.
It was perhaps 12 years ago that I got a phone call from a gay man I will call Herb who wanted to buy a place in Key West. He found me on my blog and learned that I was also gay. He thought, I think, it would be a good fit. He was wrong on many points.
We began a telephone and email dialogue to find the best place for him. I can share a bit without sharing too much. He was older. He was a hair dresser. (That's what he called it.) He wanted to be near Duval Street so that he could meet people. His brother was a surgeon and would be the actual buyer. We began our search.
As I write this I remember countless phone calls from Herb who rambled on and on. I sensed, no knew, Herb had a drinking problem. I listened on end. We all know people like this.
I found Herb a well located condominium which met all of his needs. It was in good shape and was priced right. His brother flew down to Key West and took a look at the place. We accidentally bumped into each other the same night at a famous Key West restaurant. The doctor told our little group how important a figure he is specialty. And he said how proud he was of his brother, the hair dresser.
I wrote an offer which was accepted by the seller. Florida real estate contracts require payment of an initial escrow deposit within a few days of acceptance of the offer. When the surgeon failed to pay the agreed deposit on time, I contacted him stressing the importance of contract compliance. He told me in no uncertain terms that he was saving lives on a daily basis and was not to be distracted by my perceived importance of contract terms. But he sent the money nevertheless.
We closed the deal. Herb moved in and had a hot tub installed. Herb was living his best life in paradise.
At that time Herb was a middle-aged man. If you saw him on the street you would not guess anything askew. He had a receding hairline and was not particularly attractive. But he wasn't a troll. But when he turned on the gay - you knew. His normal guy facade flew away and his flamboyant wild and crazy gay persona emerged.
Two years passed. All of a sudden I saw Herb's condominium appeared for sale in the Key West MLS. I called the listing agent who told me that Herb was too wild for the condominium complex even by Key West standards which are gosh darn low. Herb reportedly walked over to Duval Street and invited unsavory characters back to his condominium in the wee hours of the morning to continue partying in the hot tub. This happened not once, or twice, but too many times. The agent told me this was the first and only time the condominium association demanded the unit to be sold. The doctor complied. I have no idea where Herb landed. The end.
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