It's happened over and over again. I will be showing a house and the listing agent will take us to a room which he or she refers to as a "small guest room" upon which I will say something like "What if you have big guests?" or something equally inane. I know what the agent meant and the agent smirks.
Were it so simple that we all have small guests. If you have read my blog for even a few months you know how fond I am of mothers-in-law and brothers-in-law. Mother-in-law is a term we Key West Realtors refer to as a place for an illegal rental inside or upon the lot of a single family residence.Look up brother-in-law in the Urban Dictionary. You'll get my point.
This is a true story only the names have been changed to protect me from my in-laws. I think it was mid September in 1986 when my partner's sister, husband, two young boys, and their dog arrived in an RV with boat in tow at our house in Denver. They decided to make a surprise visit. We had extra bedrooms so it wasn't that big of a deal - at first. The brother-in-law Freddy (not his real name) did not eat meat unless he killed it with a rifle. Neither did the sister or children except when Freddy was away. Freddy loved White Star and bought lots of it. I am not sure how he afforded all that champagne because he did not have a job. Nor did he ever have a job.
About two weeks passed by. It was a sunny Sunday morning. Freddy announced the family was heading someplace else - I think it may have been a relative who lived in Aspen. Pretty sure that was it. They packed up the RV, put the kids and the dogs inside, and were ready to roll. I gave hugs and said Goodbye. I went inside.The doorbell range. The RV would not start. My head exploded. I grabbed a drink and ran upstairs, I kid you not. I came to my senses and decided I could not be rude. I can be, but I thought it best not to be. Luckily when I got back down stairs Freddy got the RV running. I said Goodbye again. This time they left. I remember having another drink in celebration.
A lot of potential buyers who look for second homes in Key West say they want a place with at least one or more guest bedroom. I often suggest buyers pick a smaller place and put their occasional family and friends up in a hotel. It's cheaper and easier on the nerves. They don't listen. Imagine trying to fit my four in laws and their dog in that small guest room. What a hoot!
2 comments:
A reader sent me an email referencing this blog. Copied without identification:
I enjoyed your blog today. I thinks it’s sage advice. I lived in Colorado for 10 years and part of that time I had a woman on my staff who had a number of grown children. These children had children, sometimes with a spouse, not that it seemed to matter. One or the other of her children was always moving back home to live with her, bringing their children. After a time she and her husband sold their house and built a new house. The new house had one bedroom. I thought she was brilliant. I tell this story often. I did not have children.
“Mother in law”, key west realtors term for illegal rental. Why don’t you report “illegal” unit? Money, clear and simple. Whore yourself out to the next cash in hand buyer. Pathetic
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