True Key West Real Estate Related Stories in the Time of Covid-19 - The Eyes Have It

The above photo is from the internet and was not taken in Key West - you can tell that by the trees in the background. Nor is the broken fence typical of a white picket fence one would see in Key West. 

Late yesterday afternoon I received a telephone call from a customer of mine. We discussed the Key West real estate market in general and the state of affairs on his street in particular. He mentioned a new neighbor bought a nearby house who has been making an upgrading an already beautiful home into an even better one. That goes on all the time here. Some people buy perfectly fine homes, take them a part, and remake them in their own image. 

And then he mentioned his neighbor Lacy. He said Lacy has a driving problem - she keeps driving her car into his fence. He opined Lacy's driving problem may be related to her drinking problem. He hesitated to lay total blame on the booze, however. He suggested that Lacy's vision problem may be  affected by all of the plastic surgery she has had - maybe she could not see because of all the sutures.
 

Nanny Cams in Key West

The first time I encountered a Nanny cam was ten years ago. I remember seeing various cameras throughout the house. I "knew" the owners socially.  They bought the house when it was a bank owned property and the renovated it. They furnished the place and rented it as a monthly vacation rental. As I looked around the house I thought it very odd that there were Nanny cams located everywhere. I immediately determined that I would feel violated if I rented a house like this and knew that someone could be watching and or listening to what I did and said. I did not sell that house so my personal suspicions ended that day. Except I remembered them ten years later. In fact I recall them ever so often as I see new versions of hidden cams on television photographing home invasions, thefts, child abuse, senior abuse, dog antics, and more.

Some readers may know that Key West has a lot of seasonal owners. Some people call them snow birds. Many arrive in late October or early November and stay until the end of April or May. A couple of years ago I was showing the house of a snowbird to prospective buyers. The house as quite impressive. Grand in fact. Maybe even over-the-top. I trailed my customers as they went from room to room, floor by floor. I kept noticing cameras everywhere. At the same time I was befuddled by the some of the design elements in the house. It looked like some mad queen from Hollywood played a trick on the owner and got him to do some very gay things. While my customers were looking around on the second floor I asked the listing agent it the seller was "gay". He got a look of horror on his face and said NO. And no thanks for asking. Later I asked other people about that owner. They all told me he was married to a woman as if that is proof of something. I still had my suspicions. But thinking back on the moment I asked the gay question, I wondered if the microphone was engaged. Did the owner hear my inquiry?

I have been seeing more Nanny cams in houses in Key West. I can usually spot them. I don't blame owners wanting to keep an eye on their place. Before I decided to write today's blog I did a quick Google to see if spy cams and recordings are legal in Florida. Cameras may be as long as notice is given. I am not so sure that audio recordings are. I think I taught my self a lesson when I questioned the challenged the style of that homeowners haven. From now on I am keeping my mouth shut and will advise the potential buyer to do so as well. And if I were to represent a seller with such a system, I would suggest they purposefully never watch or listen to someone viewing their home with a Realtor. Hearing what someone has to say about your drapes or lawn is not worth the cost of a lawsuit.

 

719 Petronia Street, Key West - GONE

One of the many things that makes Key West so much different than other small towns across America is the fact that we have so many of our original houses still in place. On my first trip to Key West I did what most tourists do, I looked around at the old houses and noticed many were in a deplorable state of repair or disrepair. I remember the houseboy at the guest house telling us that old houses were protected and could not be torn down - they could only be rebuilt. I thought that was a waste of money. I thought new could be made to look old, but function like new. I know I am still right on that part. But over the years I have come to appreciate the old house more than I ever imagined. 

The little house at 719 Petronia Street (also known as719 Petronia Lane and also 719 Poorhouse Lane) is/was located at the corner of Poorhouse Lane and Petronia Lane.

 

If you are a longtime reader of my blog you know I have written several blogs about houses shown on the 1912 Sanborn Fire Map above. I added some graphics to give this old map modern day reference points. Petronia Lane later became Poorhouse Lane.  Earlier editions of the maps did not even show the exist of defined "lane" or "street". The map shows a large building that no longer exists. I think this may have been the actual poor house for which the lane got its name. That lot is now a public parking area and is located across the street from the newly refurbished Bill Butler Park.

Around 9:00 AM on April 26, 2021 a crane arrived at 719 Petronia Lane and started pecking away at the bones of the old house. I returned around 6:30 PM/ The house that stood at that spot during three centuries was gone.

 

Key West - The Difference Between HERE and THERE

 

Several weeks ago I was sitting on the far chair of this front porch on Elizabeth Street waiting to start a Facetime video with potential buyers. We had to delay the start because we can't always do what we want when we want. I sat there looking across the street. At this location Elizabeth is a quite narrow one-way street with parking on the west side. The highest point in Key West is located across the street and to the north - maybe 150 feet. The area was called Buzzards Roost on the old Sanborn Fire Map. That day I could hear birds just singing their hearts out. What a sweet serenade. I sat there thinking how fortunate I am to live in this place.

The photo above is symbolic of many suburban American communities. I've read people who live there sometimes have to drive around with garage door openers in hand clicking away hoping the door opener will direct the car to the correct house. I must confess I do the same thing at the grocery store. There are too many gray SUVs - they all look the same. Mine flashes its lights and beeps out "I'm Here! I'm Here!" to me.

This is Key West. This is home to about 25,000 odd people. I meant that. Who wants to live normal? Normal is the second photo from the top. Not normal is living a life on a island at the end of America in town that is less predictable in a place that is just about perfect. That is the difference between here and there. 

724 Windsor Lane Key West - Open House

 Hey Pardner, follow us down Truman Avenue to Windsor Lane. Head North and go about Two Blocks. Turn Left and Walk Up Solrais Hill. That's the highest location on the Island of Key West.

 724 Windsor Lane 

OPEN HOUSE SUNDAY 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM

$649,000 

PARKING

PATIO

PORCH

Palace for two small people and Bullseye too

 CLICK HERE for more information. Better yet, show up. 

The Man Who Knew Too Much - Not the Film, That Guy from Wall Street

A few years ago I worked with a buyer who left Wall Street soon after the 2008 Crash and landed in the Florida Keys. He wanted to use his business acumen to purchase a business and live the good life in Key West. I will call my buyer "Wilbur.

Wilbur told me he had an uncle in New Jersey who owned a bar. Wilbur initially wanted to buy a bar. That would be the perfect after Wall Street job. Few bars are actually listed for sale in our MLS. I nosed around and found one, got the sales package, and sent it to Wilbur who scrutinized. Then one day Wilbur asked me '"Who do I buy my napkins from?" 

I told Wilbur he could buy his napkins from whomever he wanted. He did not believe me. In New Jersey bar owners had to buy everything from specific "vendors". I immediately envisioned Tony's Napkin Store operated in back of Bada Bing.

As I recall the asking price for this particular bar was over four million dollars. Wilbur said he could raise the funds. He submitted an offer that was way too low to be accepted. It wasn't accepted. It was ignored. I initially viewed this as a learning episode for Wilbur. I can see him not believing a realtor who sells houses. I don't think he trusts anybody.

Time passed. We looked into other ventures including another cash business - a laundromat. I remember the day we looked a the property. Two other potential buyers looked before and after us. It went under contract a few days after. Two things happened on this deal. First, Wilbur could not make sense of the numbers the listing agent had provided. I learned a long time ago that many cash businesses have two sets of books - one for Uncle Sam and second for their eyes only. Laundromats are notorious for that. This laundromat also had a small Cuban coffee and sandwich window that generated a lot of income. He could not see himself making cafe con leche Cuban coffee and sandwiches - he was from New Jersey. Second, Wilbur was slow in responding to a very well located and attractive property.  think that place went under contract the first week it was on the market. He who snoozes loses.

An agent in my office was getting ready to list a very well located cash business that catered to tourists. We did a couple of site visits just to see the volume of business the place did. Wilbur was impressed with the number of transactions he saw, but being a numbers guy, the numbers the seller provided did not make sense. We both assumed unreported transactions. Wilbur was prepared to copy the seller's business mode but he out what he did what he did or how much money the seller actually made. Wilbur submitted an offer which the seller did not counter. The business was sold to another investor. It is a very popular tourist attraction. 

One day several years ago a new MLS listing popped up that really excited me - a trailer park on Stock Island. As I recall the trailers were actually annual or monthly rentals. The owner was selling the trailers along with the park. The listing touted the profitability of the trailer park as a going enterprise. I immediately did a Google aerial view and saw that the property was located on the water. Visions of houses with boat docks appeared in my head. I scheduled a visit. Wilbur asked a lot of questions. I fished for potential sales price info. I got Wilbur to talk to a real estate attorney to explain the process of removing the trailers and developing the near two acre parcel. Wilbur was a worry wart. He could only see down side. He could only see hiring plumbers to fix toilets and patch roofs. He couldn't imagine rubbing elbows with the people who lived there whereas he wanted to rub elbows with the patrons of the Old Town bar he lost. I kept advising Wilbur to buy the property and sit on it. I said it had immense development potential. Someone else could be the developer. All he had to do was buy the property and sit on it. Wilbur declined.

Someone else bought the trailer park and the trailer park next to it. I assume the new owner hired a land planner and real estate attorney to get government approvals remove the former trailers and develop the ground to the point where it is today. The trailers, trees, years of debris are gone. Fill dirt has been added. The waterfront appears in the distance. Wilbur saw collecting rent from people who live in trailers. I saw long term profit. Wilbur got a real estate license. In Key West. Yeah Wilbur!

 

Key West Real Estate Throwback Thursday No. 18

From: November 18, 2017

The Case of the Gremlin Chasing Home Inspector

 

Three weeks ago I wrote a blog where I recounted my experiences as a law clerk in the Jefferson County Colorado court system while I was attending law school in the early 1970s. Judge Joseph P. Lewis was one of the judges I worked for. One day shortly after a criminal trial had begun, the judge gestured to me to approach the bench. When I got up there, the judge put his hand over the microphone and instructed me to call the Colorado Supreme Court to verify that the young attorney representing the defendant in the criminal proceeding was actually a lawyer. I will call that lawyer "Odd Bob".

I had never been asked to verify that any other lawyer was in fact licensed to practice law. This was a first! I made the call and learned Odd Bob was a licensed attorney. I went back inside the courtroom and told the judge Odd Bob was legit. The trial proceeded without anyone knowing the judge's concern about Odd Bob's competence. A short time later I told the story to two of my fellow law school classmates who clerked for other judges. I can't remember exactly how it came to pass, but each time Odd Bob appeared in court we all assembled to watch him.

Before I started to write today's blog, I went online and checked out Odd Bob's attorney status. The Colorado Supreme Court suspended him from practice in 1980. The court order stated "At no time during his representation of the (__name of client represented__) or during the pendency of this matter has Respondent (Odd Bob) recognized the errors enumerated above nor the inappropriateness of his action on behalf of his clients." In other words, Odd Bob was clueless as to why his professional conduct brought him before the Supreme Court for potential disciplinary action.

We all recognize the figure at the top of today's blog: he is Inspector Gadget.  I have this theory that after Odd Bob's license to practice law was suspended, he moved to Key West, changed his name to Inspector Gadget, and took a course to become a home inspector. He traded in his suit and briefcase for a uniform and an electronic gizmo which could theoretically detect gremlins not visible to the naked eye. I've watched Inspector Gadget point his gizmo all around a house seeking out gremlins hidden under Dade County Pine, behind drywall, or in an attic. I have never seen a house that Inspector Gadget inspected that did not have hidden gremlins.

A year or so after a customer of mine purchased a house a house, the customer called me to discuss his frustration over Inspector Gadget failure to notice a leak under the house. The customer was updating a bathroom when his plumber discovered a leak in sewer pipe suspended under the the joists.  The plumber stated the damage had been going on for a prolonged period of time and should have been readily observable during a normal home inspection. Inspector Gadget found gremlins but missed a leak. The home owner called Inspector Gadget to complain. Gadget apologized and refunded the price of the home inspection. I normally give my buyers a list of three or more reputable home inspectors to call to arrange for a home inspection. Inspector Gadget is purposefully not on that list - ever. Some buyers prefer to search for an inspector on their own. Ultimately the choice is that of the buyer. 

Wikipedia says this of Inspector Gadget: "Gadget is very powerful and loyal ..., but he is also very dim-witted, clueless, incompetent, oblivious, and gullible." The description reminds me of how the Colorado Supreme Court referred to Odd Bob's lack of awareness of his errors or inappropriateness of his conduct. Wearing a business suit and having a law license did not make Odd Bob a good attorney nor did wearing a uniform and possessing a gadget capable of finding gremlins make Inspector Gadget a competent home inspector.  

Retired Lawyers

Trues Story:  I wrote a blog about trying to sell a house listed by a Realtor who was also a retired lawyer. She had to lawyer-up the deal so much my buyer decided to forgo the house he loved and settle on another place just to get peace of mind. He was later shot to death inside that house. I blame the former lady lawyer-real estate agent as much as the guy that pulled the trigger.

I have sold several homes to sitting judges, practicing attorneys, and retired lawyers. I don't recall any of them trying to lawyer-up an offer I wrote. They tend to be cautious and check the numbers, decimal points, spelling, and dates to make sure I get the important things right. (So do most people.)

Every now and then a buyer has a family member or even a partner who is a retired lawyer from another state who offers to get involved in reviewing a contract. I think the retired lawyers think they may know more about selling or buying a house than local Realtors. Some offer lengthy revisions to contract forms with all kinds of legalese to protect the family member from the other party, the real estate agents, the inspectors, the surveyors, and others who may be tangentially involved in the purchase and sale of property. In short, they muddle.

Our real estate contracts are referred to as FARBAR FORMS. They are created in cooperation between the Florida Bar Association and the Florida Association of Realtors. The contract forms are updated twice annually to keep current with revisions to state and or federal law. Realtors are permitted to fill in the blanks and are not practicing law without a license. 

I recently spoke with a fellow agent about retired lawyers from far away states offering to help me do my job. She said "Retired lawyers come to Florida to practice the law that they are best at - malpractice. "

So You Think Key West Real Estate Prices Are High, Check This Out

I woke up earlier than usual today and was passing time on Twitter when I saw a couple of photos from a house for sale at 702 Fremont Avenue, South Pasadena, California. The poster commented about prices being out of control. People are saying the same thing about the price of houses in Key West. So I decided to GOOGLE the house. 

A couple of photos of the house, to wit:

Doesn't look so bad to me.  

Okay, it needs some roof and drywall work done.

So it needs a lot of work. Offered for sale at $1,395,000. 

I searched the Key West MLS for active single family houses priced $1,390,000 to $1,400,000 and found only one house. It is located at 3122 Riviera Canal Drive, Key West. It is offered for sale at $1,395,000. Same cost, different coasts. You decide.

The backyard and pool open out to the Riviera Canal which runs about a mile or so until it flows into the Cow Key Channel and then out to the Atlantic Ocean.

Opposing view from the canal looking toward the house. That tree in the foreground is a frangipani or plumeria tree. They have fragrant beautiful flowers which are used in making perfume. 

Maybe the Twitter guy who complained about the South Pasadena housing prices is correct. Then again Key West has its own very expensive fixer uppers. But at the $1,395,000 price point, Key West beats South Pasadena to pieces.