Staying Alive

If you watched any of the HALLOWEEN or SCREAM movies you know never to investigate strange noises in the woods; never to search for a missing friend by yourself; never to go upstairs or to the basement when the lights are not working; never to leave leave Jiffy Pop on the stove, and so on. In general you learn never to do dumb things. You learned valuable life lessons by witnessing what happens to people who do dumb things. Doing dumb things can have really bad consequences.

My dad was born in 1908. He was the oldest of three boys. His little brothers learned about life from him. That is the way life works. He was born almost before movies were invented - seriously. Saturday afternoon movies had not been invented when he was a kid. There were no SCREAM-type movies movies to inculcate him. Nobody taught him not to do dumb things. He had no idea of the concept of unintended consequences. He only knew about instant gratification of doing something for a laugh. He passed this on to my brother. I was born just after television became the focal point of almost every American home. I learned not to do dumb things. 

During the last two weeks of August before I entered the first grade, I accompanied my parents on a road trip from Denver through the northwestern United States. The trip lasted about two weeks. My dad drove our new 1952 Studebaker up through Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Washington, with a brief visit to Canada. We visited every national park we could. We went deep sea fishing in Vancouver. My dad got sea sick. So did I. We returned about a week after first grade began. I never caught up. 

I remember Yellowstone National Park most of all. Smelling Old Faithful is a rite of passage. Seeing moose on the loose is inspiring. But seeming my dad getting eaten by a bear was terrifying. There were other fathers who apparently missed out on valuable life lessons learned in the movies. I found several photos of similar incidents. The photo below includes a Studebaker. Not our car. But may be related. Donno. 

So this bear was walking down the middle of the road. There were signs everywhere warning people DO NOT FEED THE BEARS.  My dad was an independent thinking man. He rolled down the driver's side window and held out an unwrapped Jolly Rancher piece of candy to the bear. The bear was excited to get the gift and tried to get inside the window to give my dad a big old bear hug. My dad landed on my mother's lap. I was in the back seat pinned against the window terrified at what was happening. 

My dad did not get eaten. He continued to dumb things forever. The End.